Everyone has different thoughts on the appropriate time to say “I love you” for the first time, but I think we can pretty much all agree that the first date is not it. While I’ve never been one to follow the rules when it comes to dating and love, I couldn’t get down with a guy who broke out the L-word the first time we went to dinner together.
It was our first time actually hanging out one-on-one. Not only was it our first date ever, it was our first time hanging out just the two of us. We had some mutual friends but we were basically strangers. He reached out to me and asked if I wanted to go out for dinner sometime and I said yes because I thought he was cute, funny, and he seemed totally normal.
The date was kind of awkward. With some people, it takes more than one date to decide if you’re really compatible with someone, but I can tell right away if I really click with a person. personally, can pretty much tell right away if I’m going to click with someone. This guy was different because I struggled to figure out how I felt about him. He was really sweet but our conversation kept falling flat. He seemed happy to be there with me but he really didn’t seem interested in learning anything about me. He was barely asking me any questions about myself or my life. It was so weird!
I briefly wondered if he had ulterior motives. Like I said, he was being very polite and kind, but his lack of interest in me as an actual person was so suspicious. It didn’t feel like first date nerves, it seemed like he just had nothing to say to me. I started to think that the only reason he had asked me out was that he was trying to get laid or something, which then started to make me feel angry and closed off to him.
When I took more initiative, he finally opened up. I decided that I wanted to know for sure if this guy was legit interested in dating me or if I should just get up, call an Uber, and leave him with the check. I started asking him questions about his life, his family, his hobbies, etc. since he wasn’t asking me anything and surprisingly, that helped lift some of the tension and he started to talk more. The date improved slightly but I still wasn’t feeling much of a connection.
Then he dropped the L bomb and things got weird. After dinner, he drove me home and walked me upstairs to my front door. I thanked him for the evening and leaned in to give him a quick goodnight kiss and that’s when he looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I love you.” WTF?
Let me put this in perspective. Just to clarify again, I barely knew this guy. I’m not saying that people can’t fall in love on the first date but that sure as hell wasn’t the case here. I was still trying to figure out if this dude actually liked me because he didn’t give me the impression that he did. Then all of sudden, he hits me with love? What? I was so confused.
I wasn’t sure how to react. I’d never been in this position before so I really didn’t know how to handle it. I almost laughed because I thought there was no way he could be serious. I didn’t laugh, but I did make my shock apparent and there was an excruciating awkward silence as he waited for me to respond. Finally, I awkwardly chuckled and said, “Um..thanks. That’s really sweet.” Then I said goodnight and went inside. What else is a girl to do in that situation?
I actually found myself feeling guilty. I obviously couldn’t say it back to him because I don’t believe in throwing that word around casually, but I was worried that I had really hurt his feelings. I texted him, explaining that I’d been caught off guard and that I was sorry if I made him feel stupid or hurt him at all. I was hoping he would reply but wasn’t very surprised when I didn’t hear from him for a few days.
He faded then ghosted. After a few days, I texted him again and still got nothing but radio silence. When he finally replied, he gave me short, one-word messages that had nothing to do with that weird ending to our first and last date. It was like he wanted to pretend it had never happened. I played along with it but after a few back and forths, he stopped texting and I figured I was probably never going to hear from him again. At that point, it was probably for the best, but it did actually hurt me a little bit that he decided to cut me out just because I didn’t have the reaction he wanted me to have. It’s possible that he felt uncomfortable because he realized that he shouldn’t have told me that he loved me, but I’ll never know the truth because he wouldn’t discuss it with me. It was weird AF.
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