Why Ghosting On A Relationship Makes You A Crappy Person

Ghosting sounds like the perfect way to end a relationship. One day everything’s going great (or at least the other person thinks so), and the next day you disappear. No breakup talk, no crying, no anything. If you think that’s fine, you’re just being an jerk. And no, it’s not just men. Women are just as guilty for ghosting on a relationship, and it makes anyone of either sex that does it a pretty crappy person. There’s no way to sugar coat it. It’s lazy, disrespectful, and proves you aren’t ready for any type of real relationship. I’ll admit there are some situations where it’s appropriate, but those are unique and extremely rare. In most cases, just put on your big girl panties and break off a relationship with words, not a disappearing act. Here’s why it’s so terrible, in case you needed it explained.

  1. It kills any chance of trust. Ghosting just makes others think you have something to hide. Plus, why would anyone trust you when you promise to be there for them and then ignore them the next day? Breaking someone’s heart by ignoring them kind of ruins your trustworthy reputation.
  2. It leaves another person hanging. You might think it’s clear that the relationship is over, but the other person has no idea. You’ve left them hanging until they see you with someone new. Then they’re filled with questions as to what they did wrong.
  3. If you’ve got a problem, you should talk about it. If you’re not happy with something going on in the relationship, just talk about it. In most cases, things can be resolved. If you ghost someone, it’s over. It’s kind of a crappy move to just throw away a relationship because you have a little issue.
  4. You could just say it’s over already. Ghosting is bad enough, but the fade out and fade back in is the worst. Don’t use someone like that. Just grow a pair and say it’s over. Now, if you have said goodbye and the person is still trying to contact you, it’s okay to ignore them. Post-breakup ghosting is one of those rare situations that’s actually okay.
  5. It shatters the other person. I get that you’re ghosting to avoid dealing with a breakup, but did you ever think about how that makes the other person feel? Saying goodbye is going to hurt them, but leaving without a word or a reason is even worse. It breaks their heart, kills their self-esteem, and leaves them wondering if love is even worth it.
  6. You shouldn’t drag someone else into your confusion. I actually understand wanting to breakup because you’re not sure if you’re ready for a relationship yet. That’s fine. Ghosting someone because you’re confused isn’t right – just breakup or don’t get into a relationship to begin with.
  7. It proves you have no respect for anyone. If you’re willing to ghost someone you claimed to care about, you obviously don’t know what respect is. You just don’t do that.
  8. The other person has a life, too. And that life doesn’t include spending weeks or months waiting for your sorry to explain yourself. Yes, the other person is left wondering what happened or if you’re coming back. They’re trying to be patient and understanding, which is something you couldn’t do.
  9. You’re ruining dating. The more people get ghosted, the less likely they are to want to get serious with anyone else. Remember that the next time you’re hitting on someone and they push you away. It’s people like you who are killing real relationships.
  10. Everyone deserves an explanation. I don’t care how crappy the relationship has become – everyone deserves at least one reason why during a breakup. It could be that you’ve fallen out of love or you don’t share the same interests. Whatever it is, you’ve taken up that person’s time and they deserve a reason.
  11. The other person has done nothing to deserve this. Unless it’s an extremely toxic or even an abusive relationship, the other person doesn’t deserve to be ghosted. Odds are, they tried to be a good partner. After all, they’re sitting at home wondering why their texts are going unanswered while you’re out having fun.
  12. Your immaturity isn’t their problem. If you’re still immature enough to think it’s okay to ghost someone just because you’re tired of them, just avoid relationships and dating completely. It’s time to grow up and it’s not up to others to have to deal with you’re immaturity.
  13. Would you want it to happen to you? I’ve been ghosted and it sucks. Think about it for a second. How would you feel if this happened to you? Doesn’t sound so fun, now does it? Don’t do it unless you’d be fine with it happening to you.

Ghosting is never going away. It still doesn’t make it alright. If you’re going to do it, just know it’s not going to make you a better person.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.