Before You Give Up On Love, Remember These Things

Given the state of dating, it’s no wonder that so many single women feel ready to give up. Between the ghosters, liars, cheaters, players, and commitment-phobes — and that’s just to name a few types — it’s hard to remain hopeful about finding your own personal unicorn. But before you give up on love for good, remember this:

  1. It happens when it happens. As much as I always hated hearing this, it’s true. It’ll happen when it happens (and that’s usually when you least expect it!). You can’t just decide that you’re ready to meet the love of your life and then run into him in a coffee shop the next day. As much as we all wish it did, it just doesn’t work like that. The key is learning to relax and letting the universe take control. You’ll be a lot less stressed this way.
  2. If you have to force it, it’s not real. We’ve all had those relationships that would be absolutely perfect… if only one thing were different. You can try to force it into working, but it’ll just end up crumbling more and more. When it comes to love, you should never have to force it. If you feel like you’re trying too hard, it’s probably not the real deal.
  3. Good people ARE out there. Although it may feel like your dating life is a never-ending parade of losers and toxic guys, know that good ones are out there. No matter how hopeless it may seem, giving up isn’t the answer. Just because you aren’t finding a good one right now doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
  4. Being single is a gift, so use it accordingly. Being single can be one of the most influential times in your life. You’ll most definitely look back on it and realize that flying solo helped you learn so much about yourself. Instead of wasting time worrying about your love life, use it to your full advantage.
  5. Every bad date brings you that much closer to finding The One. As much as going on another terrible date sucks, it’s all part of the plan. Every bad kiss means you’re that much closer to finding a good one. If you kiss enough frogs, you’re bound to find your prince. That’s what you have to keep believing.
  6. Your life doesn’t start when you’re in a relationship — it’s happening right now. Bad dates don’t have to ruin our lives. In the midst of all the messes of dating, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Stop throwing yourself into toxic relationships merely in the name of true love. Letting go of unhealthy habits is a huge key to finding The One.
  7. The fun is in the journey. What fun would it be if we all met the loves of our lives tomorrow? Sure, there would be a ton of mushy gushy feelings floating around, but what would happen to all the lessons, the 2 AM ice cream sessions with your roomie, or the single ladies nights? As much as you may hate dealing with love at this point, remember that there are some upsides to it.
  8. Don’t worry, you still have time. You may feel like you are totally running out of time. It seems like all your friends are partnering up, and you’re afraid of being the only one left alone. Believe me when I tell you not to worry about that. There will always be time to meet someone, but how much longer will you have your cherished taco and tequila Tuesdays with your roommates?
  9. When you find the right guy, it’ll all be worth it. No matter what kind of dating BS you’re put through, it’ll always be worth it in the end. It’s hard to believe that now, but you have to trust in the process. Finding someone who will be there for you in all the ups and downs is what makes all this bearable. You’ll be so happy you didn’t give up.
  10. You’re incredible no matter what. Don’t let love get you down. One of the most important things a girl needs to remember in this world is that you’re never defined by your relationship status. Enjoy life as it is now and remember that eventually, you WILL find your person.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.