I Give Up—Being Single AF Is Better Than Dating

I was super single for a while, so I tried giving dating a shot. Now I’ve been there, done that, and I’m over it. I was happier when I wasn’t dating at all just living my life and minding my own business! Here’s why I’ve decided to stop trying altogether:

  1. Everyone said I should give it a shot, so I did—and it sucks. Funny how easy it is for the people who are already happily taken to tell me that I should “get out there” and “meet people.” Most of them haven’t had to deal with this dating landscape. They don’t understand. The other people I know who’ve been dating sure get it.
  2. A lot of men don’t want anything but sex. Many guys don’t have to commit to more because there are plenty of girls out there who settle for that behavior. There are so many options available via the internet, they don’t even bother with women who demand more from them. They don’t have to—they’ll find someone disposable in five minutes.
  3. Once you let a guy in your pants, he takes off. Even if you make him wait a little while, it’s all the same. Because he didn’t know you first or develop any feelings organically, you’re just another girl they met on an app. Once he gets his ultimate goal, he’s bored and on to the next. I’m not some girl you bang and forget. I’m done with it.
  4. Dating is a pointless distraction. It only takes me away from what truly matters in life. I’m no longer willing to sacrifice my time and energy on something that almost always goes nowhere. I’d rather devote myself to goals, plans, and dreams that are achieved through hard work and commitment. Most guys don’t appreciate what I give them anyway.
  5. There’s no real romance anyway. It’s not like guys are bringing me flowers and asking me out for lovely dinners or creative adventures. Why would I waste my time on one more man-baby who wants to Netflix and… well, you know what. That’s not what I’m looking for and I’m not going to settle for it.
  6. My friends treat me better than the men I meet. I don’t hang out with awful people, so why date awful men? My friends treat me well. They don’t take me for granted. They’re considerate and they care about me. They are everything I wish I could find in a man but don’t, so I might as well hang out with them instead.
  7. I’d rather focus on my life than on random guys. At the end of the day, I only have myself to fall back on. I have one life and I want to make it a good one. I’ll do that by making my personal dreams come true and living every day full of joy—not wasting my time looking for men who will not live up to expectations.
  8. Most dates go absolutely nowhere. I’ll have to go through a lot of duds to find a good man. There are many factors that have to line up to have a successful relationship and it’s not easy to achieve them all. Maybe some girls are willing to deal with all the crap but it’s not important enough to me to find a man. That’s not my life purpose.
  9. At least when I’m not dating, I don’t get disappointed. It sounds cynical but it’s how I feel. I’d rather not even run the risk. I’ve never been a gambler—that applies to romance as well. Every time I put myself out there I choose poorly and get hurt. I’m going to pay attention to my needs and stop worrying about finding the right guy. If it happens, it happens.
  10. I’m only meeting guys online anyway, and that blows. I never meet anyone organically, so that frustration drove me online… to find out that it’s a million times worse. A guy sounds great and I get my hopes up but then he never messages me, quickly turns out to be lame, or we have no chemistry. It’s a lot of time spent talking, figuring out plans and meeting only to have it all go absolutely nowhere.
  11. Literally no one asks me out IRL, so I’d rather not care. I get invested in dating apps whether I like it or not, so it’s better not to use them. I try to go about life and be open to what comes along but nothing ever does. Then I start to feel insecure and discouraged. It’s much easier not to care at all so I’m not sad and lonely without a guy.
  12. I’m happier and more content without men on my mind. There’s this pervasive societal idea that a woman can’t be truly happy without love in her life, but I have love coming from other places. I love myself. My family loves me. My friends love me. I try to spread joy and positivity wherever I go. It’s a lot more fulfilling than the relationships I’ve been in.
  13. Guys stick around just long enough for me to care and then take off. I swear men can tell when I start to actually feel something for them and they decide right then and there that they can’t handle me and it’s time to go. It’s cowardly and pathetic and I’m sick of dealing with it. If you can’t handle me, be real from the start. It’s so much better being single and not getting hurt.
  14. Most of the time we don’t even make it to a real date—what’s the point? I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been taken on an actual date. I’m not playing these dumb games anymore. Even if all these guys want is to get in my pants, they can at least try a little harder. I’m honestly so much better off alone not messing with the drama.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.
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