Not only is it confusing when a guy runs hot and cold, but it’s really difficult for you to know where you stand. One minute he’s really into you, the next he’s distant and disinterested. You’re constantly wondering whether it’s going anywhere or if you’re simply being strung along. Here’s why it’s probably best if you get out now rather than later:
You can’t turn him into the man you want him to be.
Sorry, but he’s probably not changing anytime soon, so you shouldn’t make it your mission to change him. Chances are, he knows exactly what he’s doing but he doesn’t care about messing with your head and heart. That’s just the way he is. When you stop pursuing him, you’ll be the one who is back in control.
He doesn’t know what he wants.
Often when a guy blows hot and cold, it’s because he can’t make up his mind about you. He gives you just enough hope to make you believe that he does genuinely like you but then he pulls away and you’re left feeling like you’ve done something wrong but you can’t figure out what it is. There’s nothing to figure out — he’s the problem, not you.
He could be keeping his options open.
While he’s unsure of how he feels about you, he really doesn’t want to commit to a relationship. After all, he has a few other options if this doesn’t work out. Instead of telling you how it is, he decides to string you along until he knows for certain what he wants or until he finds someone “better.” But if he opened his eyes, he would know that you’re the best. What an idiot!
You’re only feeding his ego.
Some guys love the idea of a woman chasing them instead of it being the other way around. He doesn’t just love it — he gets a thrill out of watching you suffer as you try and figure out what you mean to him. If he can treat you like that, he doesn’t really care about you. He thinks you’ll be available whenever he wants you, so walk away and show that guy that you don’t need him.
He hasn’t grown up yet.
If his idea of having fun is playing with your feelings and treating it like a game, then he really needs to grow up ASAP. Guys like him get bored easily and they’re always looking for a new challenge, even if it means hurting someone emotionally. He’s obviously immature and deeply insecure too, but it’s not up to you to fix that. Move on because he’ll never give you what you need.
You’re becoming too invested in the idea of him.
Despite his actions showing a clear disinterest, you’re still caught up in this fantasy of you and him together. Sure, he doesn’t give you all of his time, but it’s still worth going for, isn’t it? Wrong. As long as you’re pursuing him and he knows you’re not going anywhere, he’ll still be keeping you on a string. It’s a game. He likes that he can pull you in whenever he wants and then push you away when he’s had enough. It’s unacceptable behavior, and it’s time for you to call the shots by letting this guy know that you’re done with his games.
He’s an incredibly selfish person.
If he disregards your feelings to boost his own ego, that makes him a selfish jerk. Do you really want someone like that in your life? Do you really believe that he’s going to change and become a better man? It’s not likely, so don’t waste any more time on him.
When you start pulling away, he’ll pull you back in again.
He doesn’t want this to end on your terms, so he’ll do anything to make you believe there is still hope. Don’t fall for his empty words, as his actions reveal what he truly wants. He doesn’t want a serious relationship with you, otherwise, he wouldn’t be acting like he’s got nothing to lose. When he turns hot, that’s when you turn cold. Now the tables have turned.
He can’t love you the way that you want him to.
You need to accept that you deserve more than he’s willing to give. In fact, the L-word probably hasn’t crossed his mind at all. You know what it is you want, but he’s still indecisive. How long are you prepared to wait for him? Clearly, you’re not on the same page, and this isn’t going anywhere. Walk away.
Any relationship with him will be unfulfilling.
Hot and cold guys generally don’t make good boyfriends. You assume that he feels the same way as you do, but if he never opens up to you, how can you be sure of that? He doesn’t give too much away as he’s not sure how long the relationship will last. Perhaps he doesn’t see you in his future at all, and that’s the reason for the inconsistencies in his behavior. Either way, you should want more out of a relationship than mixed signals and half-hearted love. He should be putting in the effort, dedication, and treating you the way that you deserve. If he’s not doing that, he’s certainly not worth it.
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