Sometimes we get so caught up in the constant revolving door of dating that we forget to stop and take a necessary breather. If you find yourself constantly with a new guy in your life to the point that your friends can’t even keep up with who’s currently in the picture anymore, it could be time to take a dating time out and reflect on what you truly want in a partner — because what you’re doing right now is a hot mess.
You’re replacing an emotion you need to fill yourself. When you’ve constantly got a new man in your life, you’re only doing it to fill a void in your life that you should be filling yourself. Sure, you can say that you just enjoy the companionship, but if you’re not OK with being on your own and can’t enjoy life without a guy, you’re searching for someone to solve the problem rather than working on it yourself.
You’re not taking the time to reflect on your experiences. How can you truly learn anything from a past relationship when you’ve put someone new into your ex’s spot so soon after? Hindsight is 20/20 and you need breathing room between dating experiences to truly learn and grow from the relationships that haven’t worked out for you so far.
You’re not over it, you’re just covering stuff up. You might think that you’re over something that didn’t work out, but it’s probably only because you have someone new to distract you from the loss you felt before. Sure, it’s going to be easy to feel over it when you’re occupied with someone else, but what do you actually gain from that? Suppressing emotions might seem like a good idea, but it’ll blow up in your face eventually if you’re not careful.
Breaks are necessary for your mental health. You don’t always have to be dating. It’s perfectly OK to take breaks for yourself and focus purely on being your own person. A funny thing happens when you do this — you reflect more rationally on the experiences you’ve had and come to terms with your own faults, as well. It’s actually pretty mature to stop and take some time to enjoy life without the constant pressure on making a relationship happen.
It’s not a race to the finish line. The best things in life take time, and even though it might seem at times like everyone around you is further ahead because they’re in relationships, that’s not the case at all. Your happily ever after isn’t something you need to chase after. In fact, you’ll enjoy the end reward more when you fall into love naturally, and not because you kept forcing men into your life when you weren’t fully sure of what you want and need in a partner.
Learning to be OK alone is necessary for the long run. If you can’t be happy with just yourself, you won’t know the true happiness you can feel with someone else. Having someone in your life to share important moments with is an amazing thing, and you should definitely have that — but before you go for yet another guy, take a minute to ask yourself if you’re dating because you genuinely like him, or if it’s because you hate the boredom that comes with being on your own.
You’re going to lose yourself in the process. Sooner or later, when you’re moving from one guy to the next, you start to lose parts of yourself. You get so caught up in the movement and fast pace of working your way through men that you lose sight of what you truly want and end up being someone who wants any relationship rather than the right relationship for you.
You deserve to know what you want. It’s hard to explain the concept to someone who’s never really truly taken the time out they need to discover not just who they are, but what they want in a relationship too. When you’re not looking for love and can accept life without someone paying you attention and affections, you really do zone in on your own thoughts, wants and needs in life — love included. It’s OK to date around to figure out what you want, just make sure you’re not doing more harm than good in moving from guy to guy so quickly without much time in between.
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