You’re Going To Regret It If You Let Your Relationship Define Your Life

A relationship is a nice thing to have in your life, but it shouldn’t become the only thing that defines you. If your significant other takes over every aspect of your life, you’ll forget who you are and what you want. You should want to be with someone who complements your best qualities, not someone who overshadows them or tries to snuff them out entirely.

  1. You should never lose yourself because of a relationship. When you get into a relationship and your personality starts deteriorating piece by piece, that relationship is consuming you. It’s one thing to change yourself for the better but it’s another thing entirely to become a terrible person that no one recognizes.
  2. A relationship should help you grow, not hold you back. Relationships can certainly complicate things, but they shouldn’t make your life difficult or bring all of your progress and accomplishments to a screeching halt. If you feel like your life suddenly started moving backward when you started dating someone, that guy doesn’t complement you.
  3. You should still have time for your family and friends. Your loved ones shouldn’t get shoved to the back burner the second you get into a relationship. Ditching your friends for someone who treats you badly is insulting to them, and you can only blame yourself if they don’t stick around. If you make plans with your buddies, stick to them.
  4. If a relationship is all you have, you’ll end up isolated. Giving up your hobbies, friends, and passions and gambling all of your happiness on a relationship will result in a one-way ticket to depression. If a relationship is the only thing you have to look forward to, you’ll probably be willing to look past abusive behavior because you’ll be desperate to save the only thing you care about.
  5. When all your friends are concerned for you, there’s a problem. Don’t brush off their concern and dismiss it as jealousy. They’re probably worried that you’re going to get stuck in a bad situation that will take years to get out of. If you were with a guy who complemented you, your friends wouldn’t be sitting you down for relationship interventions. Listen to them.
  6. Compromise is necessary in a relationship, but perpetual sacrifice is not. The ability to meet each other halfway without being horrible to each other will take you far. But if you find yourself making sacrifices all day every day for someone who doesn’t return the favor, it’s time to wake up.
  7. The guy you’re dating shouldn’t be a constant source of stress. When a relationship complements you, you’ll feel safe and secure. Feeling nothing but anxiety and apprehension towards your relationship means that it’s consuming you. You should probably run away as fast as you can.
  8. Feeling consumed by another person is not normal. Going about your daily life feeling suffocated is not a normal aspect of relationships at all. Your partner shouldn’t suck the life out of you, and you shouldn’t suck the life out of him. If that’s the way your union is working, the two of you do not complement each other at all.
  9. Being alone is always better than being in a dysfunctional relationship. Your well-being is never worth shoving aside just for the sake of saying that you have a boyfriend. If you don’t care about being consumed, you’re probably treating relationships like status symbols instead of something that you’re truly interested in pursuing. Spending some time alone won’t damage you, but staying in a soul-sucking relationship will.
  10. You will find someone who complements you eventually. You might have to go through a lot of BS to reach that point, but you’ll get there. Don’t waste your time on settling for someone who is a destructive force in your life. There is a guy out there who is just as goofy and weird as you are, and you’ll make a great match.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.