Are You Really “Going Through A Rough Patch” Or Is Your Relationship Doomed?

By now, you know that a fight or two doesn’t signal the end of a relationship. That is, unless those fights were about something very serious. While relationships go through hot and cold points, it’s important to recognize when it’s officially time to call it quits. Here are signs that your rocky relationship may be doomed to fail.

  1. You keep fighting about the same things. This happens occasionally, but if each fight is heated and nothing changes between fights, you’ll need to re-examine your relationship. Obviously, you’re not completely happy. If this is an issue that keeps coming up, obviously it’s something that’s important to you.
  2. Your parents don’t care for them. If your parents have openly told you that they’re not fond of your partner — for reasons other than race, current career, sexual orientation, or religion — you might want to listen to them. Outsiders who care about you can see different layers to your relationship. Maybe your mood changes when you’re around this person, or perhaps you just become more negative or stressed out. Most parents want the best for their child.
  3. You’re so stressed that everyday habits are falling by the wayside. When people are subtly depressed, sometimes they don’t have the energy to shower. Or, maybe they just can’t get out of bed. Maybe your work is suffering since week after week, you just have trouble concentrating. Think about whether or not it’s your relationship that’s causing all this unnecessary chaos.
  4. You’ve used the “going through a rough patch” excuse for over three months. We all have bad months or changes that require a little bit of relationship maintenance. Even the best relationships are never easy. But if those changes go for three months unchecked, you need to realize why neither of you is putting in an effort to get out of your rough spot. After three months, you can assume that the “rough patch” may be permanent.
  5. Either you or your partner can’t admit when you’re wrong. Human beings are flawed. The sooner you accept that, the better. If you can admit when you’re wrong, it’ll go a long way. It’s a way to move forward in your relationship and move past a particular issue. If your partner will never get out of a stubborn phase of admitting they don’t have all the answers, your relationship is doomed.
  6. Nothing is worth fighting for anymore. Both of you are responsible for looking out for each other. If you let your significant other always have their way when it comes to choices regarding dining out, or what movie to see, you’re going to burn out soon. You’re likely doing this to avoid a fight. Take a look at what’s happening here — you’re actually muting your own wants and needs because it’s become too tiresome to tell your partner that your preferences are different.
  7. You’re hiding secrets from each other. Back in the day, you used to talk to them about everything. Now they’ve become so fragile that it’s just easier to live your life without divulging big parts of it. For example, if you’re going on an innocent after-work dinner with your work team. If you have a feeling that your partner will freak out since other men will be attending, you might not divulge where you went. The more you do this, the more tension and resentment will build.
  8. You have more fun without them. Experiences should be enhanced by your partner — not ruined by them. It’s important for both of you to have time by yourself, but if you actively wish you could be alone, you should listen to your heart. Obviously, the relationship has been failing for some time. Make the break now and realize that your happiness when you’re out by yourself can be a feeling that sticks with you constantly.
  9. You’ve forgotten what drew you to them in the first place. Ever question why you’re with this person to begin with? People change and grow through time. Physical attraction often fades. But if you can’t think of one positive quality that your significant other has, you’re treading water with this relationship. Your “rough patch” isn’t a phase that the two of you can someday overcome. You’re no longer in love with this person, and it’d be in both of your best interests to end things now.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.
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