Being In A “Good Enough” Relationship Is Worse Than Being Alone

Being In A “Good Enough” Relationship Is Worse Than Being Alone ©iStock/demaerre

Everyone knows it’s better to be single than be in a bad relationship, but what about a relationship that’s technically fine, as in there’s nothing glaringly wrong with it, it’s just kind of blah? A “good enough” relationship might be okay for passing the time, or it could be a situation where you’ve talked yourself into settling because you’re convinced this is as good as you could possibly hope for while still remaining realistic. Either way, if you ever shrug and think of your relationship in a “it’s not great, but it’ll do,” kind of way, you might just be better off alone.

  1. You’re wasting your time. Are you really going to be satisfied long term with someone you aren’t 100% head over heels for? Instead of getting out there, meeting lots of people and figuring out exactly what you want, you’re spending valuable time and energy on someone who you know most likely isn’t right for you. One day you’ll wake up and regret not gathering the strength to be on your own sooner.
  2. You’re wasting their time. Choosing to waste your own time in your prerogative, but stringing someone else along even though you know they aren’t the one is a stupid move. How would you like it if a guy did that to you? Cut him loose so he can find another girl who will appreciate him.
  3. You deserve more. There must be something good about your relationship if you’re still in it, but if there are still a few things that are missing, you owe it to yourself to keep looking for someone who can give those things to you. There’s no reason you should settle for less than you deserve, so you might as well get out there and find what you’re looking for.
  4. You should learn not to fear being alone. If you’ve never really embraced the single life before, it’s only natural that you’d feel a little nervous about being alone. But as plenty of single women can tell you, being on your own isn’t that bad. In fact, it can be pretty amazing if you learn to stop fighting it and just enjoy your freedom a little bit. If you stop fearing being alone, you’ll never find yourself in a ‘good enough’ relationship again.
  5. What does ‘good enough’ really mean to you? Is your relationship good enough because you’ve actually thought through what your deal breakers are and decided you’re fine with certain flaws? Or is it good enough because anything is better than being alone? Because those two things are very different.
  6. It will never last. If you call your relationship ‘good enough’ that means you think it’s possible to find better. There is someone still out there that’s better for you, and for whatever reason you’ve given up on finding them. Eventually you’re going to realize how sad that is and stop being happy with your ‘good enough’ relationship.
  7. You’re selling yourself short. What’s so wrong with being alone until you find someone who makes your life better? Choosing to settle for someone that is just alright is like admitting that maybe you can’t do any better, and being single is some kind of epic failure. You can do better — you just have to be willing to take a chance.
  8. Being single has the potential to be amazing. What makes you think being single is so undesirable that you’d rather be with pretty much anyone than no one at all? Your experience being single is all what you choose to make it. You could wallow in your own self pity until you find someone to date you, or you could get out there and enjoy every second of being a strong, independent woman.
  9. You’re with that person for the wrong reasons. Those reasons probably include a few things like, you’re too old to start dating again, you’ve already spent too much time on your relationship to walk away now, and your biological clock is ticking. While those all may be legitimate concerns, they don’t necessarily mean you should throw in the towel just yet.
  10. Being in a relationship isn’t actually any easier than being single. People often think it’s better to not have to bother with dating anymore, but just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean it’s smooth sailing from here on out. If you’re relationship isn’t right, you can expect to have plenty of roadblocks along the way, and the stress that comes along with that could be a lot worse than just being alone.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.