Why Are You Single? Because You Were Made For More & 11 Other Reasons

You were heartbroken when things fell apart with your ex and the guys who came before him, but honestly those losers did you a huge favor. Here’s why you have to keep reminding yourself of that:

  1. You couldn’t be your amazing self with them. When you were dating damaged, toxic men, there was no way you could completely be yourself. When someone isn’t meeting you halfway or being real, you end up having to hide who you are or scale back your efforts. Screw that. You want to be with someone who doesn’t play games so you can be your amazing self — no restrictions.
  2. They made you doubt too much. Things were wrong with your previous relationships — otherwise, they wouldn’t have ended. You even had doubts before the big breakup and feeling that is exhausting! You don’t need drama and the right guy won’t bring that to the table.
  3. They cleared up your future for the right guy. Sure, it hurt like hell to love and lose it, but it’s so true what they say: when the right guy comes into your life, you’ll realize why it didn’t work with any other guy. Think of it as your exes giving you a huge gift by getting the hell out of your life and clearing the way for something better.
  4. You didn’t really lose anything. You might think you had lost a chance at love or a great relationship, but you actually didn’t lose anything. If it was meant to be with your exes, they would still be around. You can’t force love.
  5. They were great, but… There were major issues and dealbreakers you just couldn’t look past, and why should you? Maybe they showed you that your exes weren’t right for you. No one’s perfect, but you want a partner who you can say is great without adding the ‘but’ to that sentence. You deserve nothing less.
  6. You settled for ordinary. It’s easy to think that you should settle with the guy who’s in your life and totally forget the fact that you can actually have something so much more amazing, but those days are over. You know there’s more and better for you out there, so go get it.
  7. You were made for more. Things often end because they’re not good enough for you. Your relationships weren’t right for the amazing person you are and you need someone who will do you justice. It’s not that those guys were so terrible (though some of them definitely were) but just that you’re not looking for good enough — you’re looking for amazing.
  8. Fairytales don’t exist, but you should still be treated like a queen. Don’t ever think that you have to bow down to any guy — you’re a queen and you need a guy who sees that. You want respect, love and to feel like the best woman in the world. You know where I’m going with this: you’ve reached a point where you want a great love, not just any love.
  9. It’s not about time, but what you do in that time. Maybe you weren’t really ready for a great love before. Maybe you had other things to concentrate on or you were just a bit unlucky in love for a while. Instead of thinking that some great love would come into your life and change it and you, you worked on your own crap and became a complete person. That means that when great love comes along, it will complement what you already have and who you already are. That’s how it should be.
  10. You had to learn some stuff. Bad relationships offer the best lessons. It’s sad but true. You come out of them so much better and more in tune with who you are. You know what you want, what you don’t, and who you want to be. It’s really about your own self-growth. Those lessons are training wheels for the big leagues, and you mastered them.
  11. You bet on the wrong horses. Everyone dates some weird, toxic people and you had your share. Maybe you thought they’d be good for you and they were — just not in the way you imagined. They either taught you those hard lessons or made you grow or change yourself so you could be a better partner in future. Whatever the case, they left because you didn’t need them anymore. It was time to move onto something bigger and better.
  12. Single time is a game-changer. Those months or years you’ve been living single after your last relationship are more important than you realize. They give you time to take stock of your life and fine-tune what you want from future relationships. But single life is not about the absence of a man, it’s about knowing you don’t actually need one. You can make it on your own and be happy about it. What could ever be more empowering than knowing that when you step into a new relationship?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.