Why Are Good Women So Undervalued In Dating?

It boggles my mind how so many amazing, beautiful, smart and independent women are single AF. It truly is an epidemic and it seems like the worse dating gets, the more that so many great women get caught on the relationship sidelines, hoping that sooner or later a great guy will enter our lives. We give it our all in both life and love and we’d make incredible partners… if we could actually find them. What is happening out here? Why are good women so undervalued?

  1. A lot of guys want to be superior to their partners. Unfortunately, even guys who say they want a strong woman often end up dating the more submissive, damsel in distress type. No matter how far women come, for many guys, their perception of us remains the same. They like to be the breadwinners and the stronger ones in the relationship. Sadly this means the stronger the woman, the more likely she is to be single.
  2. Good women are smart women and smart women can’t be messed around. Good and strong women know better. We know when a guy is acting like a loser and when to speak up and put an end to it. A lot of guys would rather have someone who’s a little bit of a pushover because they consider it less drama, even though standing up for ourselves isn’t drama at all. It’s purely strength against BS.
  3. We’re harder to get time with because we’re too busy bossing our lives. Guys say they love the chase, but a lot of them get annoyed when we’re working hard in our careers and personal interests don’t have a ton of time to see them. Instead, some guys prefer the girl who will drop their lives to see him multiple times a week (though only at his discretion – too much availability makes her clingy). So much for our priorities.
  4. We require real effort and a lot of guys are lazy. We’re not easily wooed by a couple of bouquets of flowers and fancy dinners. We need to see real effort from the heart and to date someone with real intellect. A lot of guys just don’t want to rise up the challenge anymore and would rather do the bare minimum, which we don’t fall for. We’re not asking for a guy who’ll jump through hoops for us, just one that actually gives enough of a crap to want to try.
  5. Guys assume we’re “gold diggers” – WTF?! I’ve literally heard guys say that strong and capable women seem to be high maintenance and assume that we’re only after they’re money. It’s complete BS because the exact opposite is true. A good woman who has her crap handled in life is one who doesn’t need a guy’s financial leg to stand on. We’re actually successful at rewarding ourselves, we’re judged unfairly. Ugh.
  6. A woman who has her act together and who doesn’t need a guy is intimidating AF. It’s 2016 and some guys still seem to want to be the hero to women in order to feel needed and to have their egos stroked. It’s hard for good women to relinquish this kind of control because we’re so used to taking care of ourselves. Plus, we’re looking for a love based on connection and real desire, not out of need.
  7. Sometimes, being the whole package scares the hell out of guys. We’re killing it in our careers, have an amazing group of family and friends, take care of our health, put roofs over our head and clothes on our backs and basically have everything going for us. That sounds like a good things, but some guys just can’t handle it. They wonder where they’ll fit in with everything we have going on, but what they don’t realize is that we’re looking for an equal partner, not an accessory.
  8. The brutal truth is that a lot of guys like the drama of a crazy girl. Guys say they don’t like drama or crazy girls but let’s get real here – many of them actually love it and secretly consider it a turn-on. Have you ever seen a guy dump an amazing woman only to move on to someone who ends up being crazy? It’s annoying AF and yet happens all the damn time. Sigh.
  9. Good women are more mature. It’s no shocker that we’re generally more mature than our male counterparts – it’s just science. Unfortunately, that means that generally the guys in our age range don’t typically line up with our level of maturity and that can sometimes make dating them a complete disaster.
  10. We’re harder to get and therefore it’s harder for us to find love. Much like the issue of maturity, good women are like a fine wine that get better with time and sadly, a lot of guys are still into drinking cheap beer. Good women are undervalued simply for the fact that a lot of men aren’t ready for us yet. Maybe they will be eventually, or maybe they won’t. Either way, it won’t stop us from remaining the amazing women we are. Somewhere out there is a guy who’ll realize just how lucky he’d be to win us over.