Goodbye Dating — I’m Done With You

In the beginning, my abstinence from dating wasn’t intentional — it just happened. Then I realized how much better off I was staying away from the dating pool. Here’s why I made a conscious choice to stay away from dating altogether:

  1. I don’t like it. Let’s be honest: dating is pretty much the worst. It’s awkward, unnatural, and weird. The whole concept is pretty strange — like a job interview, but for love. I’m not a fan in the least. It makes me feel strange and uncomfortable, and I have a difficult time acting like myself. I don’t want to have to impress anyone.
  2. I’m no good at it. I’ve never been much of a salesman, and dating is no exception to the rule. I find the idea of having to convince some guy of how great I am to be silly and antiquated. If he can’t see that for himself, there’s no point. On the flip side, I never know if a guy is genuine or just selling himself.
  3. No one wants to date me. Perhaps that’s not entirely true, but certainly no one is trying! I can’t read minds, but I can definitely tell you that any time I show interest in a guy, he doesn’t do a damn thing about it. It’s disheartening and depressing. Why would I want to keep going for something when I get no reciprocation?
  4. No one seems to date anymore anyway. I don’t know when it stopped being a thing, but it definitely happened. I hardly know any guys who take girls on real dates anymore. Everyone just “hangs out” and then that either slowly fizzles out or slides into relationship territory. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t want to date unless I’m actually DATING.
  5. Romance is dead. Seriously, someone please prove to me otherwise. If not, I’m not dating. It’s as simple as that. I want a man who recognizes that I’m special and behaves accordingly. I’m tired of all the mixed messages and the apathy and the refusal to show emotion. If a man’s not willing to be romantic, I’m not willing to date him.
  6. I don’t trust men. I’ve seen and experienced too much BS from men. I hope that swearing off dating and focusing on my male friendships instead helps renew my faith in guys. At this point, it’s almost impossible for a guy to win with me anyway. He’s guilty until proven innocent, no matter how hard I try to feel differently.
  7. I have lots of other hobbies. Frankly, there are about a million things I’d rather do than go on a date. I’m always learning and trying new activities, and I find that way more fun. Dating feels like a chore in comparison to learning to rock climb or teaching myself a new language. I’d rather be on my couch reading a book with my cat than out with a strange guy.
  8. It’s a waste of my valuable time. I have goals to accomplish, and none of them have anything to do with finding a man. I’ve sworn off dating because I have many other aspirations like developing my career and figuring out how to live the lifestyle I want. I don’t have random free evenings to spend with complete strangers, most of whom I’ll never see again.
  9. I don’t care enough. I simply don’t enjoy dating enough to pursue it. It feels like a lot of work for very questionable rewards. I’m not interested enough in finding a partner to spend so much energy on it. Maybe someday I will be, but right now it’s not a priority.
  10. I relish the single life. Why date when I’m perfectly happy with the way my life is now? I don’t need to mess with a good thing. Being single is pretty great. I love my freedom to control my own schedule and environment. I take care of everything I need with very little fuss. I have no desire to needlessly complicate my existence.
  11. I don’t enjoy the numbers game. People tell me it just takes a lot of bad dates to find the right person. Well pardon me if I think that sounds just awful. I’d rather sit out, thanks. Maybe it’s unrealistic to believe that I can find love in a different way, but I’m willing to risk trying.
  12. I’m easily bored. I find regular social events fairly unappealing, so all the weird “mating rituals” we go through to find a solid partner are downright dreadful to me. It doesn’t take much for a man to lose my attention. I’m looking for something special, and I can tell pretty fast when a guy ain’t it. I don’t want to date because I find the whole process tiresome.
  13. I don’t find most men all that impressive. I’m jaded — sue me. I meet a lot of people on a daily basis, and I click with very few of them. I’m surrounded by guys who seem to think they’re hot stuff, and I’m over all of it. I’m not dating again until I meet a genuine and interesting man worth my attention.
  14. I’d rather be with my friends. I have priorities, and friends always trump men. I’ve mostly dated guys who made me wish that I was spending time with friends instead anyway. I can definitely say that my friends always stick around whereas men come and go. Why would I ever date randoms when I could be spending quality time with my pals?
  15. I’ve built a life that I love, relationship or no relationship. Throughout the years I’ve developed an adult life that makes me very happy. With or without a man, I’m very content and proud of what I’ve become. I don’t need a partner to validate my worth. I don’t date anymore because it simply isn’t important enough to disrupt what I have going. My life is meaningful regardless!
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at