I Got Excited About Him After The First Date But Then The Second Date Was Terrible — WTF?

It’s bad enough to have a crappy first date, but what’s even worse is being excited about the guy after meeting him, only to realize he’s a jerk the second time you go out. That’s what happened to me, and it seriously sucked.

  1. Our first date was almost too good to be true. Our first date was amazing! We met for a quick coffee, had lots of laughs and I felt that finally after a string of disappointing men, I’d met someone who seemed promising. I left that first date on a natural high, feeling excited to see him again — and he actually felt the same. It felt too good to be true… because it was.
  2. First impressions are unreliable. He’d made a great first impression on our first date. He was sweet, charming, funny and attractive — qualities I’ve always looked for in a partner. But then when the second date happened, something went awfully wrong. I saw the other side of him and it wasn’t pretty.
  3. He let his guard down. Clearly, this guy must’ve let his guard down on the second date after making a great first impression on me. He was so talkative, I couldn’t get a word into the conversation; his jokes were rude and overly sexual and I just got a weird vibe from him. Whoa, was this the same guy? Where had that cool guy from our first date gone?
  4. We weren’t a good match. I’d initially thought we were a great match, but I’d been so wrong. He was showing me signs that he wasn’t right for me at all! I wish I’d seen them on the first date so I would’ve saved myself the trouble of seeing him again. I started to wonder if I’d missed some important signs because I’d been so happy to meet someone interesting, but how? We’d only had a quick coffee together on our first date, which hadn’t given me time to get to know him too well (or at all)
  5. Longer dates are better. I’d always thought short first dates — a maximum of an hour and a half — are a good idea to prevent conversation from running dry, but this guy made me see it’s actually better to spend a bit more time feeling each other out. It would’ve saved me from my second-date disappointment.
  6. First-date masks are a real problem. This guy was a perfect example of how people wear masks on the first date. They try to be so amazing but that mask can’t last forever. I learned that it’s better not to get so excited and have expectations about anyone — that can just set me up for disappointment I don’t need.
  7. He thought we were starting a great thing. It’s so weird how two people experiencing the same thing can have such different ideas of what’s going on. When we parted ways after our second date, he told me how much he liked me and wanted to see me again. He even tried to kiss me, which had me moving away from him and feeling very uncomfortable. He saw no issues between us and embraced our differences. Even my diss of his kiss had just seemed to encourage him. WTF?
  8. I took time to think. Was I being unfair to this guy? Was I being too harsh? Should I give him another chance? All these things went through my mind the next day, so I decided I needed to take a bit of time to figure out if I really wanted to give him a chance or if I was just being influenced by his positive feelings regarding our two dates. I realized I’d given him enough of my time and I couldn’t shake off the feeling that we just weren’t right for each other.
  9. It was a harder fall than one-date wonders. It hurt a lot to think that someone who seemed so promising as boyfriend material had not been my prince but a frog in disguise. I’d liked him so much, only to see he wasn’t that person at all. It was an eye-opener, though. It showed me how there’s so much to know about people and dating can’t be rushed into.
  10. He wanted to remain friends. When I told him I didn’t want to date him, he thought it would be cool to remain friends but I didn’t think so. Every time I looked at his Facebook or Twitter profile, all I saw was how wrong I could be about someone. FML.
  11. I realized I’d been in love with the idea of him. I liked him but more than that, I think I loved the idea of meeting someone who made me feel a spark again. I’d been single for a few years before meeting this guy, and the thought of finally going on a great date was intoxicating. Maybe I’d built the experience up into something it wasn’t, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’d pretended to be something HE wasn’t. I learned a valuable lesson here: never trust a first impression blindly!
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.