We Got Too Comfortable Too Fast & It Ruined Our Relationship

We Got Too Comfortable Too Fast & It Ruined Our Relationship ©iStock/Dean Mitchell

The butterflies, the giddy smiles, the suspense you feel when waiting for a call — the newness of a relationship gives such a high. But it doesn’t last forever. For us, it barely lasted at all. This is what happens when the honeymoon stage is gone before it ever really started:

  1. It was like we’d known each other for years. When we met, something instantly clicked. We could talk about almost anything, it seemed. We got each other and we were comfortable with each other. There was a sense of comfort in our first conversation that could have led to great things, but we took it too far.
  2. We stopped learning new things about each other. When you first get into a relationship, one of the most exciting parts is discovering new things about the other person — their likes and dislikes, their quarks, what makes them smile. Because we became too comfortable, we stopped being interested in learning more and settled for being okay with what we knew.
  3. We became intimate quickly. The sparks, the sexual tension, the attraction — it was all there. The build-up is one of the most exciting and exhilarating parts of falling for someone, but we gave into our wants and desires too soon. Our strong sexual desire for each other was taken away and replaced with routine intimacy.
  4. We moved in together too soon. The excitement of being with each other all the time and wanting to do the day-to-day activities with each other was good because it meant we enjoyed even the mundane things together. We let that excitement take us too far by moving in with each other really quickly, only to have that enjoyment die out once we did.
  5. We became too comfortable with each other’s company. We liked being around each other all the time, which was good in the beginning. However, we ended up becoming so comfortable with just spending time with each other that we cut out all other relationships and social interactions.
  6. We became too comfortable with arguing. When you first get into a relationship with someone you think, “I could never yell at this person, they’re too wonderful.” Okay, so that isn’t reality, but our fighting started way too soon. After only a couple months together, we shouldn’t be that comfortable screaming back and forth over stupid crap.
  7. The excitement of a new relationship was gone within months. Goodbye, honeymoon stage. Of course it isn’t going to last forever, but ours only saw a couple months before the butterflies disappeared and we were no longer interesting or new to each other.
  8. We became more excited for time apart than with each other. Once we began getting excited when they other person was going to be busy and not be around us, it was clear the comfort we felt had taken it’s toll on our relationship. Becoming comfortable with someone is good and natural when it comes to being in a long-term relationship. We just rushed to the end too fast and ended up acting like an old married couple way before our time.
Mattie Gold is a lifestyle, health, and fitness freelance writer with a passion for making people laugh and understand their life better through her work. She is also passionate about chocolate. And taking long walks on a breezy day. And working out because being healthy is pretty cool.