You might think that if you’re too comfortable in your relationship, it’s a bad sign. But this isn’t always the case. Bad comfort includes texting your partner from the other room because you’re lazy AF, but good comfort includes feeling free to be real, even if it’s embarrassing. Here’s why being gross with your boyfriend can keep you together:
- You can be comfortable around each other. You’re living together or have been in a relationship for a long time. Don’t you think you should be able to relax by now as though you were living alone? If your boyfriend’s brushing his teeth and you need to pee, go on and pee in front of him. As long as he’s cool with it, it’s no big deal and shows you that you’re comfortable with each other.
- You feel secure in your relationship. You might avoid “gross” things, like showing him what you look like without makeup after a sweaty session at the gym, when you’re worried that you’ll scare him off after two weeks of dating. But now that you’ve been dating for so long, you shouldn’t fear that one thing is going to make him run. It’s awesome to reach that level of security with someone.
- You lighten the mood. If you can be gross with each other, like burping or farting in front of each other and laughing about it, it can inject some lightness and humor into your relationship. It also means you’re not uptight about things like that, which you really shouldn’t be. Come on, it’s human nature.
- You find new ways to be intimate. It’s not like you’re TRYING to be gross (well, probably not, anyway). Grossness happens to all of us at some time. Whether it’s morning breath or back acne, if you’re open with each other and accepting of each other’s less-than-appealing sides, then you’re growing so much closer.
- You reach new milestones. You might remember your first kiss and fight, but what about your first accidental fart or the first time you laughed so hard that you spat your green tea all over the floor? These things are important because they’re signs you’re making memories together and getting real with each other.
- You lose your inhibitions. Instead of feeling body conscious around your partner, it can be amazing to walk around naked in front of him, let him inspect your moles, or ask him to exfoliate your back. It helps you to boost your body confidence to let him see all of you while preventing inhibitions. And why should you have those? You’re sleeping with him, for goodness’ sake, so anything else really shouldn’t be a big deal.
- You communicate better and learn about each other. One of the ways being gross together can keep you together is that it provides an opportunity to learn more about each other. For instance, sharing info about your period can be helpful to your partner. It shows him what to expect at that time of the month so that it’s not shrouded in mystery or causing him to walk around on eggshells, wondering why you’re in such a foul mood. It’s also helpful for you to speak about what you’re feeling, whether mentally, emotionally or physically.
- You become real to each other. It’s quite endearing when the person you’ve seen as this perfect creature shows you the weird hair growing on their neck or can burp-sing to a Beyonce song. It makes him human and so much more interesting. Of course, if he’s going out of his way to be disgusting, that’s not really appealing, but if you’re both cool with the level of grossness, it’s great.
- You see the type of parent your partner will be. If your partner can scoop up doggy poo or hold your hair back when you puke from gastric flu without flinching, he’s going to make a good father someday (or just a good partner to you). Either way, you win.
- You learn to confide in each other. It’s great to feel you can support each other — not just when it comes to your careers or goals, but also when you need someone to go onto WebMD with you to search for info about why your poop is coming out green. You and your partner can tell each other everything. It rocks!
- You stop feeling pressure to be perfect. You don’t always have to present your best self to your partner, especially not when you’re in a long-term relationship. That’s just too damn stressful! So go on and dare not to shave your legs for a day or two. Who cares? Your partner won’t mind because he loves you and it’s really just hair at the end of the day. Woo-hoo, how liberating!
- You have fun. When your partner sees you sweaty and dirty after a hike, or you both enjoy pigging out on pizza and chocolate cake on a Friday night, you’re showing a zest for life. You’re not afraid to let your guard down and enjoy yourself. You both know how to have fun and share in it together, which bodes well for your future as a couple.
