He was a great guy and we clicked like I’d never clicked with anyone before. Something had to be amiss, right? Unfortunately, that was the case. Our connection felt like it was the real deal, but then he asked me to move in with him after the third date and I knew it would never work.
- Who does that? Seriously, who suggests moving in with someone on the third date? Unless you’re Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson, that is. I hated that this guy had to go and ruin everything by coming on so strongly and sounding crazy, to be honest. We had two amazing dates and our third one was going so well… until that point. Talk about a reality check.
- Yes, he was serious. At first, I laughed off his suggestion and told him we should order some dessert. The conversation was great and I loved his sense of humor so I thought we could just carry on as normal. Unfortunately, he wasn’t joking. He told me that he really felt like we were soulmates.
- No one believes they’re soulmates after three dates. There should be a rule that states, “Thou shalt not say the word ‘soulmates’ within the first six months of dating.” I felt like the guy was just throwing out these ideas that we were perfect for each other without really feeling them. I mean, who feels the soulmate connection after the third date? We’d only seen each other for a total of, like, 10 hours.
- Obviously, I didn’t feel the same. I told him that there was no way we could be soulmates, and no, I didn’t believe in love at first sight. Lust at first sight, sure, but not love. He was crushed and sat moping and looking as though I’d completely broken his heart. Weirdly, I couldn’t muster up any sympathy for him.
- I suspected him of love-bombing. The first thought that came to mind — and maybe I’m too cynical here, but hear me out — was that the guy was trying to lay on the romance so that he could make me feel swept up in new love only to come crashing down weeks later when he ditched me for another woman. But then other thoughts followed.
- Was he just desperate? It’s sad but true — when someone starts throwing out too much love and interest in another person, it makes them seem desperate. The weird thing about this guy was that he never seemed to be desperate before that moment. What was going on?
- On paper, he was a total catch. He seemed like a guy with a good head on his shoulders. He wasn’t still living at home. He hadn’t been single for ages, which had caused him to become desperately lonely. He had a good job. He was smart. We had mutual friends, which is how we met (not in a dark alley or on a shady dating app). So then, what gives?
- The guy was a walking red flag. I couldn’t figure him out. What makes someone who seems like such a catch come on so strongly? Maybe he really was just keen on finding the love of his life, or maybe he really did believe in love at first sight. While there’s nothing wrong with either of those things, moving in together after three dates is a huge red flag.
- I wasn’t flattered. Sure, I could’ve been flattered that he liked me so much, and he seemed to be expecting that reaction from me, but I didn’t feel that at all. I just saw huge warnings over this guy’s attractive face. Imagine if I got swept up in this romance? Imagine if I was ecstatic, thinking I’d met someone who was so crazy in love with me and we were going to go on an awesome adventure together? I would’ve run straight into a concrete wall.
- He called me cynical. When I expressed my feelings about his suggestion to move in together and how it wasn’t a good idea to move so fast in relationships, he told me I was cynical and negative about love. He said that sometimes, someone comes along and challenges everything you know about love. He added that love can blossom quickly and relationships that move super-fast don’t always have to be bad.
- True, but… I don’t want to rush through a relationship and allow a relationship to make huge changes to my life so quickly. I mean, moving in with a guy when I don’t even know him? That’s a recipe for disaster. I realized what the problem was with this guy: he had romantic ideas about life and love. Let’s be honest: the guy had his head in the clouds. I, on the other hand, wanted someone with a little bit more of a down-to-earth and realistic approach. If that makes me cynical, so be it! And no, we didn’t end up ordering dessert.
