Little kids are prone to throw temper tantrums. It’s annoying, but it’s typical for children to express feelings in a loud, out-of-control way because they just don’t know any better. As you age, you start to learn that keeping your anger in check is essential to maintaining respectful, solid relationships. There are plenty of adults that never learn this skill, and it’s best to avoid them at all costs.
The things he says in the heat of the moment matter.
You’re going to get into a fight with your guy at some point in your relationship — it’s an inevitability. How you choose to work through an argument is important, and the way your boyfriend addresses problems is really a reflection of his feelings towards you. If his first instinct is to corner you and immediately start attacking you with hurtful words, that indicates a huge lack of respect. Your boyfriend doesn’t get to call you horrible names just because he was in the heat of the moment.
Fights will get super personal.
You’ll find that the more comfortable he gets with you, the more liberties he’ll take with the argument. Opening yourself up to an unstable person leaves you vulnerable in ways you’ll never expect. The longer you stay with a partner that is quick to anger, the more intimate information he’ll have to use against you.
You’ll never get the last word.
To someone who’s quick to anger, fights are more like a contest than a means to an end. Who can deliver the lowest blow and leave the other speechless in the end? Who can come out of this tussle on top? It sounds twisted, but that’s the way angry people think. In the moment, all those people care about is transferring their blind rage onto you. Fights like this never actually produce a resolution.
Things will escalate.
You may think you can handle the arguments, and right now that might be true. However, if you find that every little disagreement turns into an all-out screaming match, it’s only going to get worse. Things may not be physical right now, but terrible things can happen behind closed doors when emotions are high.
You’ll start resenting him and yourself.
You may find yourself walking on egg shells just to keep a fight from starting. It’s okay to take steps to prevent an argument, but you shouldn’t keep your concerns to yourself just because you’re worried about your significant other’s reaction. Bottling all that emotion up will lead to an explosive argument in the end.
You’ll lose yourself.
Dealing with an angry person will begin to have a serious effect on our personality over time. Keeping your thoughts to yourself to prevent arguments will make you more passive than you once were and things you’d normally never be okay with will start to slide. Your convictions will change and eventually you won’t recognize your self-worth.
You need to leave before it’s no longer an option.
If a man feels like he has the right to blow up any time you have a disagreement, it’s not absurd to think that he may take it to the next level. He may start by grabbing your wrist as you try to leave or he’ll block the door with his body so he can make sure he’s driven his point home. You need to consider how serious this relationship could damage you emotionally and physically in the long run.
The lows will outnumber the highs.
You may be telling yourself that you should stick around since the bad times never outshine the good ones. It’s not going to last. The more comfortable he gets with you, the more often these fights will occur. Unless you can address the anger issues head on with your partner, and he’s willing to change his behavior, the situation will get worse.
You won’t be able to keep this contained in the future.
Let’s say you’re really serious about this guy and you end up getting married and decide to have a family. Children are like little sponges. You may be able to handle the brunt of your guy’s anger, but your kids will see this behavior as normal and continue the trend as they get older.
People with anger issues need to want to help themselves.
If your guy legitimately sees the error of his ways and he is willing to take serious steps to address his issues, he may be worthy of your love and time. If he tends to blow up at you every other day and expects you to forgive him as soon as he’s done blowing off steam, you’re better off walking away. Arguments in a relationship are common, pretending like they never happened after they’re over is not.
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