There’s this trend of women either wanting to be low-maintenance or pretending they are to seem more appealing to men. I am not one of those women and I make zero apologies for it. Yes, high-maintenance women can be harder to please, but I promise you, we’re worth it.
- Hard to handle doesn’t mean crazy.
Let’s be crystal clear—it has nothing to do with embarrassing, psycho behavior. I don’t act like I’ve just escaped an insane asylum and I’d never think that kind of behavior is OK. It’s about the fact that I have standards and expectations that must be met. When they’re not, I call it out rather than keeping quiet.
- It also doesn’t mean I’m materialistic.
I’m totally self-sufficient, thanks. I’m not saying there aren’t women out there who happen to be both high-maintenance and materialistic, but that’s just a coincidence. What I want from my partner has nothing to do with money and a lot to do with his attitude and conduct toward me.
- I don’t play games.
I shoot straight from the hip; so do most women who would define themselves as hard to handle. If I think or feel something, I’m upfront about expressing those thoughts and feelings. I don’t feel the need to play mind games or to try and manipulate my partner. If a guy can’t handle that, he’s obviously not worth my time.
- I’m only intimidating to the easily intimidated.
I’m attracted to strong, confident guys who like a challenge—the ones who don’t want a doormat that’ll let them get away with sub-par behavior. I’ve been lucky that men who were easily threatened or had fragile egos stayed away or quickly faded out.
- Variety is the spice of life.
I know there are plenty of women who don’t demand a lot from their partners, just like there are plenty of men who don’t want to put in the work. I’m perfectly fine to step aside and let them pair up and live happily ever after. I’ll let my significant other know from the beginning what he’s signing up for with me.
- I need a guy who’s willing to ride out the rough parts.
When I get scrappy, the worst thing a significant other can do is run and hide. It doesn’t generally get better until whatever I’m upset about gets resolved and that takes communication and understanding. Escaping cowardly from the situation is never the right way to handle it. It could actually be the beginning of the end, Face it, fix it, learn, and let’s move on.
- If he’s willing to learn, my guy will get used to me in no time.
Typically, the longer a partner is with me the smoother things go. He’ll learn my expectations and become familiar with my no-fly zones. This is particularly applicable if he was with a low-maintenance woman previously and became accustomed to mailing it in. Now, he must acclimate to the new benchmarks.
- I bring more to the table.
It’s not one-sided here. I’m not perfect by any stretch, but I put a lot of effort into myself, my partner and the important things I value, which is why a gutsy fellow will be driven to level-up, rather than powering off. I’ll push my significant other to want to impress me and be the best, and that’ll seep into all aspects of his life.
- I’ve caught plenty of flack for it and I’m over it.
I’ve been called everything from a diva (not so bad) to a bitch, and much worse. It’s just the price of admission and I’m sure there are many women like me who’ve had shade thrown at them for being a certain way.
- There’s a serious double standard.
Madeleine Holden states on Ask Men, “A girlfriend who insists on being treated well within a relationship is classed as ‘high-maintenance,’ ‘needy’ and even ‘psycho,’ whereas men are much more likely to have their demands read as reasonable.” The rules are rigged—it’s sad but guys simply aren’t scrutinized the same and it sucks.
- I’m aware of my flaws and I actively work on them.
The qualities that make me more difficult stem from positive traits. I’m brutally honest which means I’m truthful. I’m expressive, so my partner doesn’t need to worry about any passive-aggressive behavior. He’ll never get the cold shoulder or hear, “Oh, it’s nothing” when it is. Anyone looking for sass, bravery, and chutzpah has come to the right place.
- Little things matter.
Seriously, it’s not that complicated to keep me happy. It really boils down to small gestures, basic common sense, and manners. Don’t be lazy and remember that if I feel cherished and respected, I’m super easy-going. It’s when I feel taken for granted and/or taken advantage of when I become feisty. Then, watch out!
- I own who I am and I’m proud.
Marilyn Monroe said it perfectly, “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” Truth.