The Guy I Cheated With Is Now My Husband & I Regret Nothing

I’ve been with my husband for almost 10 years and we’re still very happy together. Not many people know how our relationship started, though, and some that do know what happened doubted that we’d last. I guess I don’t blame them—here’s why.

1. I was already in a serious relationship when I met my future husband. At the time, I’d been dating my high school sweetheart for over three years and I was genuinely in love with him. We were nearing the end of college and our relationship was great. However, I started to feel like something was missing for me and I became unsure of what I wanted.
2. I wasn’t 100% content in my relationship and I should’ve broken it off. My boyfriend was very anti-social, which isn’t a bad thing—it’s just how he was. What bothered me about it was that he refused to get to know my family because it made him so uncomfortable, and I became resentful. I also felt like I was missing out on some of the college fun because we never went out. I should’ve broken up with him if I wasn’t happy, but I still loved him and he wasn’t doing anything wrong, so I did a stupid thing instead.
3. I ended up cheating on my boyfriend. I met a new guy (my future hubby) while celebrating my 21^st birthday with a couple of friends. He was actually my cousin’s best friend and already knew my family, but we’d never hung out before. We hit it off well and while I wasn’t planning for anything to happen, we slept together a couple of nights later after we were all hanging out and drinking together again. I knew I couldn’t stay with my boyfriend after I cheated on him, so I broke up with him without telling him what I did.
4. It wasn’t love at first sight at all with my future husband. I liked him, but it wasn’t like I felt we were destined to be together or anything. We spent some time together, but things were rocky. It was probably because I was feeling guilty about cheating on my ex. I hadn’t had a chance to get over my ex yet and I was confused about whether I really wanted to be with the guy I cheated with or not.
5. I dated my future hubby for a couple of months but then we broke it off. We had a ton of fun together, but emotionally I wasn’t ready for another relationship yet. I realized I needed some time to myself to figure out what I wanted. We broke it off amicably because even he could see that I was struggling.
6. I almost got back together with my ex. After my future hubby and I split up, I started talking to my ex again. I ended up telling him I cheated on him because I couldn’t take the guilt anymore. He was furious, obviously, but he eventually told me that he was willing to get back together and try to move past it. He was such a good guy and I couldn’t believe how understanding he was. (I definitely didn’t deserve it.) I really considered getting back together with him.
7. Then I hung out with my future husband again and my perspective changed. We hung out together with friends again after spending that time apart. It sounds silly, but seeing him again gave me some clarity. I realized that I didn’t really want to get back together with my ex, especially because of what I did. I decided that I wanted to give things a try with my new guy again.
8. My future hubby and I were inseparable after that. We had a great time together and he had a lot of qualities that my ex-boyfriend didn’t have. For example, my new guy went out of his way to bond with my family and he was extremely outgoing. We made a good match and ended up getting married a few years later. I would never have predicted it, but here we are.
9. I still feel guilty about cheating, though. If I could go back, I would’ve broken up with my ex before I cheated because I still feel like a horrible person to this day because of what I did. I haven’t spoken to my ex since then, but if I could have a conversation with him, I’d tell him that it’s one of my biggest regrets in life and I’ll always feel bad about it. He was good to me and didn’t deserve that.
10. However, if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be where I’m at now. Although I regret cheating, it did lead me to my future husband. We’ve built a wonderful life and family together. If I had done anything differently, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today.
11. Not all relationships that start off on the wrong foot will turn out bad. Clearly we didn’t start our relationship with honesty, but it turned out great anyway. For the record, I haven’t cheated again and don’t plan on it—and my husband has never even hinted that he thinks I might cheat on him because of what happened. Thankfully, there’s complete trust in our relationship. So if you’re in a rebound relationship that didn’t begin perfectly, it could still have a happy ending.