You Don’t Need A Guy To Complete You—You Just Need A Guy Who Complements Your Awesome Life

It’s so easy to get stuck with a mediocre guy who doesn’t treat us anywhere close to how we want to be treated, but that only happens if we allow it to. Once we harness our power to choose, there’s no going back.

  1. Just because he’s there doesn’t mean he’s a catch. So many of my friends will randomly start dating a guy just because he has ears and breathes air. I’ve even been guilty of it myself. Sure, he expressed interest, which is important, but what else is he bringing to the table? If the only criteria you look for in a guy is that he’s around, single, and has eyes for you, then of course you’re gonna be trapped in a revolving door of sub-par relationships.
  2. You don’t technically need anyone. You can take care of yourself, thanks very much. If a guy wants to join in on the ride, that’s cool as long as you’re choosing him because you really like him and not because it’s better than being single. Don’t tie guys down for the sake of it because honestly, you’re fine on your own. Think of having a boyfriend as a bonus and you’ll always end up picking the right ones.
  3. You deserve the best there is, so why are you settling for less? Perhaps the reason why you’re choosing these sub-par men is that they’re all you think you deserve. It can be VERY easy to convince yourself that you actually like the kinda guy who doesn’t really care about you or treats you as an afterthought—that’s why all those jerks out there still get dates. Realize that you’re worth more than just any old guy. You deserve the best guy out there.
  4. The right one is worth waiting for. It can be very exciting to jump on the first guy who’s semi-cute and likes you, but before going any further, stop, breath,  and think. If you pick this guy just because you’re sick of being single, you might ruin your chances of finding your person. Learn to say no to the men who don’t serve you and yes to the ones who you ACTUALLY feel good about.
  5. Your love life is truly in your control—you decide what you accept. The idea of being able to choose the right guy is foreign to most of us, but just keep in mind that you don’t have to say yes to every guy who looks your way. Not only that, but you have the power to seek out a guy who you know really cares about you. It’s just important that you don’t get distracted by the guys who don’t matter, otherwise, your search will seem endless.
  6. You don’t need a prince, you need an equal. The idea of being “saved” might sound pretty nice, but it’s highly unrealistic. You don’t want to give your power away and start fawning over a guy just because he’s giving you a little bit of attention. Here’s a thought: pay attention to the guys who show they want to be with you and who are proving themselves to you. It’s like insurance for your future relationship.
  7. It’s either hell yes or a hard no. There might be a guy who comes along who you’re almost 90% sure will break your single curse, but if he’s not exactly the person you can see yourself with long-term, why even bother getting into a relationship with him? Don’t forget you have the ability to choose. You can say no to a guy if you don’t think he can give you what you want in a relationship. Follow your gut and only go with the guys who are an enthusiastic yes.
  8. You have to break the bad boyfriend cycle. A lot of women (myself included) get stuck in a cycle of bad boyfriend after bad boyfriend, but it’s only because we’re letting it happen. The minute we start giving our attention only to the guys that actually matter to us, the cycle will stop and we’ll finally be in the relationships we know we deserve.
  9. Don’t let yourself get lost in dating. It’s easy to feel pushed and pulled in a million different directions, especially if you’re dating online and going out with a lot of random guys. Just remember that you don’t need a guy. If you’re single right now, you can stay that way for as long as you want—and as long as it takes to find a guy who’s actually worthy of you.
  10. Being single has never been more normal. Millenials are the generation of singlehood, so don’t worry if you seem to be perpetually without a lover. Trust me, it’s way better than being stuck in a relationship with someone you only dated because they were the closest exit from singledom. Revel in your solo status and know that when the right guy comes along, you’ll just know it’s him.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.