The Guy I Was Crushing On Tried To Set Me Up With Another Guy

There’s nothing worse than when your friends try to play matchmaker, except maybe when the friend setting you up is your crush and he doesn’t even tell you it’s happening. Talk about awkward!

  1. I thought it was our usual group hangout. At this point in my life, I was hanging out with a friend of mine a lot and I was crushing on him hard. We had mutual friends that we enjoyed spending time with, so when he invited me out, I thought it was just going to be our usual club-hopping Saturday night. Unfortunately, something else was in store for me.
  2. There was an uninvited guest. My friends and I usually stuck to our same old clique during our nights on the town, so it was strange when a new guy turned up, especially because no one gave me heads-up that we had a new friend with us. It was a bit weird, to be honest, but I figured it was no biggie and maybe one of my friends decided to bring their good-looking friend along at the last minute. Anyway, the more the merrier, right? Maybe not…
  3. I started to notice weird behavior. It wasn’t coming from the stranger but from my friends. Not only did they always stand around in such a way that made it impossible for me not to stand next to this guy, but they kept backing away and heading to the dance floor or outside for a smoke whenever he was initiating a conversation with me. It was like they were trying to give us time alone. What was going on?
  4. It got worse. As if those clues weren’t enough—and I really tried to tell myself I was just imagining them—at one point I realized I’d left my phone in my car and I said I was going to fetch it. Two of my friends blurted out that this new guy should accompany me to the car. Ugh, it felt so awkward. On the way, it suddenly became clear. He told me that he was friends with my crush more than my other friends and my crush had heard that he was looking to meet a nice person so he suggested he tag along to meet me specifically. Yup, my crush was trying to get us together.
  5. Oh, the humiliation. I couldn’t believe that my crush would hurt me in such a harsh way. Not only was I hurt because he clearly didn’t have romantic feelings for me if he was setting me up on dates with other men, but I was also hurt because he was supposed to be my friend. This isn’t what friends do to each other. I could picture my friends waiting for us to return, having a good laugh behind my back.
  6. How could he set me up without telling me? The thought that he planned this setup behind my back, notified all my friends about it and asked them to keep the plans quiet was just too much to deal with. I was hurt and quite angry. I was done with this stupid night out. I felt like the joke of our group.
  7. I was put on the spot. When we got back to our friends, it sickened me how all my friends looked at me eagerly as though wanting to see if the guy and I had hit it off. It was so embarrassing. Although he was attractive, he really wasn’t my type. That was just the cherry on the cake of my humiliation.
  8. Did they not know me at all? If my crush had been a genuine friend, he would’ve known not to do something like this to me. Also, he would’ve known that this guy just wasn’t someone I could imagine myself with. He wasn’t actually a nice guy. From the short time we spent chatting, it was easy to see that he was arrogant and quite creepy.
  9. I hate setups. I don’t like getting set up. It’s always awkward and uncomfortable and can be insulting if the friend playing matchmaker doesn’t really consider me before choosing who he or she thinks is a great guy for me. I think this apprehension towards getting set up is probably why my friends kept their mischievous plans on the DL, but it still doesn’t make it right. No one should ever be put in such an uncomfortable situation.
  10. It pushed me to move on. The one good thing that came out of this experience is that being set up by my crush helped me to realize once and for all that he wasn’t into me romantically and he never would be. It was a huge wakeup call that helped me to get over him and move on. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise because I stopped putting my romantic life on hold.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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