If The Guy You’re Dating Wants To Keep His Options Open, Don’t Choose Him

People wanting to “keep their options open” when they’re dating isn’t exactly a new concept, but with Tinder and other dating apps, it’s definitely become a lot more common. Exclusivity doesn’t have to happen from the first date but if a dude wants to keep seeing and sleeping with other women while he’s dating you, tell him to GTFO.

  1. You don’t have to be cool with him dating around. Even though you’re fully aware of the situation, it’s perfectly fine if you’re struggling to come to terms with the fact that you’re not his one and only. It’s a natural reaction. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to pretend to yourself or him that you’re cool with him dating other people if you’re not.
  2. It’s not fair to have to share when he has you all to himself. Who wants to have to share a guy? Nobody. You spent years of your life having to share your toys at school even though you didn’t like the idea, but you shouldn’t feel the need to sacrifice what you truly want now that you’re an adult. Your relationship is supposed to be generally happy and fulfilling, especially at the beginning. If it’s not because you’re dealing with the stress of having to share him with other women, you need to ask yourself if it’s worth it.
  3. He’s spreading himself too thin. The fact that you’re sharing him with other people means that you’re losing time as a couple that he’s giving to someone else. Promises are likely being broken regularly, like when he’s supposed to be seeing you and he has to cancel at the last minute because “something came up.” You definitely won’t be getting all the attention that you deserve, and why should you accept less than 100%?
  4. You’re reinforcing his bad behavior. If you continue to let him treat you as an option rather than his number one, it’s only going to end badly. I mean, if he really cares about you and wants to pursue something sustainable with you, he wouldn’t keep messing around with other people. By allowing him to keep coming back to you, you’re letting him have his cake and eat it too on a regular basis. If he knows that you’re not cool with the situation but he carries on, he clearly doesn’t respect you either. You should respect yourself and GTFO.
  5. The constant overthinking when you’re apart isn’t worth it. It might get to a point (if it hasn’t already) where you’re constantly thinking of him with other people when you’re both apart. You might think you can handle it the majority of the time, but it’s likely going to drive you more and more nuts as your feelings grow for the guy. Don’t put yourself in that position.
  6. You’ll never be able to trust him fully. You might be holding onto the notion that he’ll eventually stop what he’s doing and realize that you’re the only one he wants to spend his time with, but that likely isn’t going to happen. If he’s doing this to you now, what makes you think he’s not going to do it again in the future? You’re trying to build something on half-assed efforts and it’s just not going to work long-term.
  7. People will lose respect for you. If you continue to entertain a guy who clearly can’t make his mind up, your loved ones are going to have something to say about it and it won’t be pretty. While other people’s opinions aren’t enough of a reason to end a relationship, if everyone is against it, there’s probably a good reason.
  8. You’re wasting time you could be spending getting to know someone else. Why be somebody’s part-time lover when you can be somebody else’s everything? You need to be with someone who won’t be happy just to have you on his side, he’ll want you as a major part of his days—and that’s how it should be.
  9. There shouldn’t be a choice. Ultimately, your guy should like you enough that he’s focusing on you and only you. If there’s a choice, it should be a dead easy one: you. Don’t let him tell you otherwise. If he tries to, get rid of him fast.
  10. Save yourself the inevitable heartbreak. You might be kidding yourself thinking that this guy will change, but he probably won’t. You deserve commitment and someone to worship the ground that you walk on; you don’t deserve someone who wants to play the field. Don’t settle for this guy. He’s not worth the heartache and you’re better than this.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at https://trendytourist.co.uk.