To the Guy Who Ditched My Best Friend Without An Explanation

To the Guy Who Ditched My Best Friend Without An Explanation ©iStock/gpointstudio

It’s you I’m worried about. Yes, you broke my best friend’s heart and she’s going to need some serious time to recover, but I’ll be there for her and she’s going to get through this. You’re the one who needs to learn some serious life lessons about how to treat people with respect. If not, you’re going to ruin every relationship you start. Let me spell this out for you:

  1. You owe her a reason for the breakup. If you’ve been dating someone for six months, never mind for the six years you were with my best friend, you need to give them some kind of reason for the breakup — not just pack up your stuff and say, “We shouldn’t talk for awhile.” People need closure, even if the best closure you can give someone is, “I was a jerk all along.”
  2. It’s not classy to like my social media posts with her. Especially not while we’re out enjoying life so she can get over you. Especially not when you’ve blocked her on your own social media and refuse to answer her texts about why you’ve broken up. If you can’t bear to have an honest conversation with her then leave her alone. Its like you’re trying to have the best of both worlds — you get to see what she’s up to and if she misses you but you don’t have to face her or be accountable for breaking her heart.
  3. It’s obvious when you have a girl in the wings. Look, it happens to everyone. Things change in a relationship, life goals conflict, people change priorities. The right thing to do is discuss the changes and break up amicably if the relationship can’t work anymore. You don’t pretend to care for a few weeks, cultivate a relationship with another girl, pretend that said girl is just a friend and then leave your relationship only when you’re confident that girl is into you. It’s not just unfair to everyone, it’s a serious sign that you lack confidence in your own self-worth. You need help.
  4. Don’t Wait a Month to Leave Her. Even if next time you don’t have a girl in the wings, don’t dawdle when you know a relationship is over. I get it, you’re afraid of hurting her and you’re not sure how to break up while doing the least damage. Waiting isn’t the answer, though —  everyone would rather know sooner than later. Why? Because they know you’re having doubts and they start to wonder if they’re doing something wrong. Essentially, it makes your significant other feel like they’re the one who needs to fix it when in reality, there’s nothing they can do. It’s just not fair.
  5. She deserves better than you. Not just my best friend, your new girlfriend too. When you completely ignore your effect on the people in your life, everyone gets hurt. I hope your new lady realizes why she’s too good for you. My best advice to you is: stop dating and start doing some serious self-reflection. Truth is, you can be a better person than this. Treating people without respect is going to screw up your life.
  6. I hope your mom stops doing your laundry. Seriously, what twentysomething has mom folding their boxers? Get your act together. You need to learn to take accountability for your life and that starts at home. Do your own laundry, speak your own mind, and take care of your own affairs. For your benefit and Mom’s.
Ellysa won't shy away from the hard truths about modern relationships. She will shy away from commitment-phobes, red roses and toe socks.