To The Guy Who Dumped Me Because I Didn’t Fit In With His Friends

To The Guy Who Dumped Me Because I Didn’t Fit In With His Friends ©iStock/Cathy Yeulet

I thought we had a future together, I really did, but then you introduced me to your friends and it all fell apart. I tried to fit in with them despite the fact that they weren’t really my kind of crowd, but no matter what I did, they seemed to dislike me. Within a matter of weeks, you ghosted me. When I confronted you months later, you made it clear: your friends didn’t like me, so you didn’t either.

  1. Seriously? You didn’t even respect me enough to try to talk things out with me? Really? I was under the impression you actually had a spine. I thought that you respected me and that you were actually a decent guy. Clearly I overestimated you.
  2. You treated me like crap. Not even a phone call or a breakup text? You ghosted me after we dated for like three months? Only a week before, you were talking about how important being respectful was to you. What the hell, man? 
  3. What is “my type”? Honestly, I’m still baffled by what your group of friends meant when they warned you about “my type.” Obviously I was different than your buddies in a lot of ways. Is it the fact that I’m queer? That I’m self-made, rather than the recipient of a trust fund? Is it the fact that I wear weird clothes? What exactly is my “type” and why is it such a bad thing?
  4. You’re spineless, and I think you’re a narcissist too. With guys like you, it’s all about social standing. If others don’t approve of your partner, you drop them like a rock. You didn’t even have the spine to consider standing up to peer pressure or even talk to me about it initially. Did you honestly think that word wouldn’t get out about what a jerk you were if you avoided me the way you did?
  5. What bothers me most is that you didn’t even give us a chance to overcome it. I was interested in you. I was very interested in you. Perhaps the most disheartening thing about the entire ordeal is that you didn’t even give us a chance. I would have been a lot more accepting of the entire situation if you’d have just sat me down and explained to me what the problem was. I would have been cool with talking things out, really.
  6. Everything about this is just plain tacky. When we actually dated, you made a point to discuss how important class is to you. Nothing, absolutely nothing, about how things went down was classy. If anything, it’s proven to me that you’re a complete a-hole.
  7. Your friends are just as spineless as you are. They had the nerve to smile at me and try to act like nothing was wrong after you dumped me. After I confronted them, they wouldn’t even look me in the eye. It was a totally, utterly spineless and two-faced move on their part. Then again, considering why they hung out with, I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised…
  8. I was good to you. Too good, actually. You don’t deserve real people around you.
  9. I deserve better than you. Trust me when I say that I hope you meet your equal. In the meanwhile, I’m going to look for a man who’s strong enough to handle a breakup the proper way, and not give into peer pressure from his bros.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.