The Guy You Put In The Friend Zone Deserves A Second Chance, According To A Guy

Most guys have been put in the dreaded friend zone by a woman we like at one point or another, but why does it have to be a permanent relegation? Ladies, if you’re struggling to find the right person, reconsider guys you’ve previously written off as buddies. After all, doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?

  1. They have no agenda. If a guy is in the friend zone and has accepted his place there, it means he’s not actively trying to pursue you romantically. That’s not to say he wouldn’t be open to it but he has no agenda, so it’s not like you have to worry about him just wanting to hit it and quit it. If nothing else, that’s a good starting point.
  2. They like you for you. If a guy has accepted being your friend, it means he actually likes you for who you are. You don’t have to do anything to impress him. He’s accepted you for who you are as a person, including all of your quirks and flaws. You can relax around him knowing that you can just be yourself. Doesn’t that sound better than trying to start a relationship with someone you just met? It could also be a nice foundation for a new relationship.
  3. You trust us. If you didn’t like or trust a guy, you wouldn’t put him in the friend zone—you’d just tell him to get lost, right? Therefore, any guy who’s in the friend zone is someone you trust, or at least he’s never given you any reason not to trust him. I’m not going to tell you what you should look for in a guy, but being able to trust someone seems important. With a guy you pluck from the friend zone, that won’t be an issue.
  4. You can skip the awkward part of the relationship. This shouldn’t need much explanation. We all know the “getting to know you” part of a relationship can get awkward at times. There’s a lot of personal information that needs to be shared that isn’t really fun to talk about. Well, if you’re already friends with a guy, he’ll probably know about most of this stuff. There will be no creepy secrets or potential dealbreakers. The friend zone is essentially a judgment-free zone.
  5. There will still be a honeymoon period. You may be worried that if you know someone already, there won’t be a honeymoon period of the relationship. That’s simply not true. Yes, the transition from the friend zone to a relationship will have its ups and downs, but there will always be a hot and heavy period at the beginning of any romantic relationship, even if you’ve known each other for many years.
  6. Things have changed from when you first met. There are probably good reasons why you put a guy in the friend zone, but think about whether those reasons still hold true today. Maybe the guy was a little too immature and not ready for a relationship when you first met. Maybe you weren’t ready to jump into a relationship. For whatever reason, the timing could have been a little off, which is why you pushed him to the friend zone. If things are different now, maybe it’s worth a shot. I mean, there are plenty of movies about this, so anything’s possible, right?
  7. You’ve stayed friends for a reason. Again, if you didn’t like a guy at least a little, you’d tell him to take a hike rather than putting him in the friend zone. Clearly there’s something about him that you like. Maybe it’s not enough to build a relationship, but for some guys in the friend zone, maybe that friendship can be the basis of a romantic relationship.
  8. You may not have had the best judgment the first time. Look, we all make mistakes. Maybe it was a mistake for you to put him in the friend zone. Maybe you missed something that should have told you that he was the right guy for you. Perhaps you were just young and didn’t realize it. You don’t have to blame yourself for the mistake, just take a second to reconsider some of the guys you’ve put in the friend zone. Who knows, Mr. Right could be there waiting for you to come around.
  9. You know there’s a spark there. You may have sent a guy to the friend zone, but sometimes it’s hard to deny that there’s something between you. Again, the timing could have been all wrong when you first met. But if you think about it, there’s at least one guy in the friend zone with whom there’s a definite spark. You may try to deny it, but that spark is definitely worth exploring.
  10. It’s sexy to make the first move. When it comes to guys you’ve put in the friend zone, there’s no way they’re going to make the first move. They know they’re in the friend zone and most of us guys will respect that. If you’ve reconsidered your status with a guy in the friend zone, it’s on you to make the first move. Trust me when I say that you don’t have to be scared to do this. A guy in the friend zone may be thrown off at first, but if you’re clear with your feelings, he’ll be more than OK with it.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.