A Guy Just Gave Me The Best Sex Of My Life — Here’s What He Did Differently

To be honest, I’d pretty much resigned myself to never sleeping with anyone ever again before this experience. I was so sick of bad sex that I started to realize I’d rather have none at all than go through another experience that was disappointing at best and downright awful at worst. Thankfully, I didn’t stick to that. A few nights ago, I slept with a guy I met while on a work trip, and to be honest, it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life. Here’s what this guy did differently to make it such a positive experience.

  1. He was all about asking for consent. While I obviously chose to go back to his apartment understanding that we were probably going to sleep together, the fact that he still asked if I was okay with everything he was doing, even after we got started and it was almost “too late to just stop” (as I’ve heard from guys before). It was incredibly refreshing and a major turn-on.
  2. He actually cared about making me come. This has got to be at the top of the list because it was such a rarity. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met a guy before who was so invested in making sure the experience was as good for me as it was for him. He really wanted to make me feel good and went out of his way to focus on that for long periods of time rather than just ensuring he got off. It definitely worked — I came at least a dozen times throughout the night.
  3. He wore a condom without drama. How many times have you been about to have sex with a guy, only to mention protection and for it to totally kill the mood? I’m not into STDs or unwanted pregnancies, and if I’m nice enough to get naked with a guy when we’re near strangers, the least he can do is wrap it up. I expected this guy to get weird and angry when I mentioned wearing a condom but instead, he actually pulled one out if his drawer and put it on without hesitation. It’s kinda sad how shocked I was by this, I know.
  4. He didn’t skip on the foreplay. So many men think sex is all about ripping a woman’s underwear down and pounding away at her for two or three minutes (if you’re lucky) before rolling off and going to sleep — but not before asking you to leave, of course. They’re not interested in foreplay and just want to get to the good stuff. The best sex of my life was largely so good because there was so much that led up to it. This guy gave me a really sensual, slow massage, we kissed for what felt like hours, and we really got each other in the mood before we even thought of going further. By the time we got to the main event, I was so turned on I was basically begging him to get to it. It was bliss!
  5. He communicated with me about my needs/what I liked. Again, I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve slept with in the past who were so sure of their Lothario status that they never asked for feedback/guidance. They thought they knew exactly how to please a woman and just stuck with that without caring if what they were doing was working or not. The guy who gave me the best sex of my life talked to me throughout, asking me if certain things felt good and if there was anything he could be doing better. He actually made me feel like an active part of the experience, which was a major change.
  6. He went down on me without me having to ask. No wonder it was the best sex of my life! I don’t know why so many guys seem to have a problem with going down on a woman when they’re quite happy to expect blow jobs. There was no such issue with this guy. I didn’t even have to ask him to do it, he volunteered. I got a major shock when it happened — he just went for it with enthusiasm and my God, it was good.
  7. He talked dirty, not disgusting. When I’ve had sex with guys in the past, they thought talking dirty meant degrading me, calling me terrible names, and just being rough and generally disgusting. While not much offends me, I can’t exactly say being called a “f–king dirty slut” is a major turn-on for me. This guy, however, knew how to talk dirty in a way that was ridiculously sexy, whispering in my ear and saying all the right things to get me going. I can’t say I’ve ever experienced anything like it.
  8. He made me feel sexy and desirable. Most of the guys I’ve had sex with in the past (but not all of them) made me feel like I was just a body to be used rather than an attractive, desirable part of the experience. I was so used to feeling like I could literally be anybody with a vagina when I had sex with a guy, but this one treated me differently. He regularly praised parts of my body I loved, complimented me on aspects of my personality he found sex, and generally made me feel wanted. It was incredible.
  9. He cuddled after the deed was done. Now this was a game-changer. Getting a guy to cuddle after sex, especially someone who’s essentially a hookup, is nigh-on impossible, but it was a given with this guy. He happily snuggled in for a power nap before we woke up and went at it again. He didn’t push me away or turn his back to me, but instead pulled me in to be the little spoon. Ugh, heaven.
  10. He kept coming back for more (and gave as much as he got every time). This was one of the best parts of having sex with this guy. Because it was so good, I was embarrassed to admit I wanted more of it, but thankfully, I didn’t have to ask. I think we did it about seven or eight times that night, and every time was as good as the one before. I only wish I lived in the same town as him so I could repeat this experience. It truly was the best sex of my life.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill