A Guy Who Does These 12 Things Makes A Great Friend But A Crappy Boyfriend

Your guy friend may be great platonically, but be warned—sometimes the best friends make really awful boyfriends. If he does these things, don’t be surprised if you end up dating him and wishing you hadn’t gone there.

  1. He starts and ends the party. He’s the life of every social outing, which makes him awesome to be around, especially if you’re in a bad mood. But as a boyfriend, the guy who’s super social and fun all the time can be exhausting AF. It’s even worse if he’s always desperate to be in the spotlight. Ugh.
  2. He’s a constant joker. Again, the funny guy can be great company and remind you to look on the lighter side of situations, but if he’s always cracking jokes and never being serious, he would make a terrible boyfriend. You’d be dating a clown who can’t speak about serious topics and annoys you with his lame-ass jokes. Who wants to put up with that?
  3. He’s a little too easy-going. He doesn’t let stress affect him, and you have to admit you envy that about him. As a boyfriend, though, the chilled and mellow guy can become irritating. You want him to make a serious effort sometimes, not just coast through your relationship like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Another problem with dating a guy who’s too carefree about his personal issues is that he won’t empathize with you when you’re stressed out. Not cool.
  4. He whips out the charm too easily. He doesn’t flirt in a sleazy way—it’s a totally warm and charming kind of flirting. You might actually like that women love him so much, but just think of how that would affect you if you had to date the guy. Imagine feeling like he was hitting on everyone when you go out together or worrying that he’s going to take his flirting further. Ugh.
  5. He makes lots of female friends. It’s a good thing when a guy has female friends… when he’s your friend, that is. As a boyfriend, it can be tricky. You might worry about him having so many female friends buzzing around him all the time that love him so much, especially if he’s flirtatious on top of it. Yikes.
  6. He shares his secrets. You love that he feels comfortable enough to share his innermost secrets with you. Maybe one or two aren’t that pretty, like horrible relationship behaviors from his past, but this TMI is a blessing ’cause it means you can skip dating him. Even if his secrets are vanilla, you have to wonder if you’d want a boyfriend who confides in you so much. That’s what friends are for.
  7. He doesn’t like your other male friends. You feel flattered when your friend gets annoyed because his friend wants to ask you out or flirts with you. Yeah, it’s cute, but it’s actually more controlling and stupid. If he wants to date you, why doesn’t he? A guy who doesn’t choose to date you but expects you to remain celibate forever is a douche who’d make a childish boyfriend.
  8. He’s a chilled texter. And it’s totally cool with you. In fact, you like how you and your best mate can just be mellow about keeping in touch. There’s no pressure and you don’t hold each other to any expectations. That’s great, but the problem is that dating a guy like this would drive you crazy! There’d have to be some expectations (texting and otherwise) when dating, and this guy wouldn’t meet yours.
  9. He plays around. Instead of giving you a compliment, he’ll tease you like an older brother would. As friends, this can make your bond stronger. As a couple, it makes your bond creepy. Besides, you want to be with a guy who doesn’t treat you like his little sister.
  10. He tells you how much he wants a girlfriend. If you’re crushing on your guy friend and he tells you he’s on the market for a relationship, you might feel inspired to make your move, but wait. If the guy’s always talking about how desperately he wants a girlfriend, it’s a red flag. You don’t want to end up with someone clingy.
  11. He lives in the moment. Your friend is a great example of why it’s important to stop stressing so much about the future. He lives for the moment and doesn’t take a minute of life for granted. That’s awesome, but fast forward to a relationship with this guy and after a few months, you’ll stop being so in awe of him. Thinking about the future is important sometimes, and points to ambition. A guy who only focuses on today needs greater vision. He’s not the kind of guy you want as your romantic partner because he can’t see further than what he’s going to eat for lunch.
  12. He keeps saying how much he knows you. He often tells you he knows you more than you know yourself. It makes you feel loved, but it can also spell doom for a future romantic relationship. If he knows you so well, there’s no mystery. There is such a thing as being too close, after all. Keep that stuff for friendships and leave some excitement for your relationships! Besides, a great friend is hard to find. If you have one, keep him right where he is.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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