The Guy I Initially Wrote Off Ended Up Being My Perfect Match

We all have an idea of the type of person we’d like to end up with when we start dating but that tends to change when we eventually realize that maybe our initial desires and preferences weren’t all that accurate. This happened to me but in reverse. After dating a guy I thought wasn’t good enough for months, I eventually realized he was exactly what I needed and the best man I could ever have in my life.

  1. His different views and interests have helped me leave my comfort zone. I’m an introvert who likes to stay in but he’s an extrovert who likes to go out, do new things, and hang out with people. This was very exhausting for me at first, but after doing so many things together, I’ve eventually come to love the things he loves and I now travel the world with him. If it weren’t for him, I’d still be spending my free time at home, watching TV. I’m glad I gave him a chance.
  2. He puts me in my place. Unlike many guys who let their partners win the argument just to put a stop to the fight, he actually doesn’t stop fighting with me until we completely resolve the issue. I was used to winning every argument, so I didn’t like this about him. But having a guy like this makes every fight easy to resolve and makes it really easy to let go of negative thoughts and emotions. Being with someone who doesn’t fight you seems nice, but trust me, that relationship isn’t going to last.
  3. He’s not cheesy or romantic, but that’s exactly what I needed. The lack of romance in him was one of the biggest reasons I thought he wasn’t good enough. Whether we admit it or not, most of us ladies want a guy who does cheesy or romantic things for us. It makes us feel special and loved. But if we acted like grown, independent women, we wouldn’t need any of this. In fact, just the little things that show he cares would be enough for us to know he loves us.
  4. He’s very realistic. Who doesn’t want to spend the rest of our lives with the person we love? I always have, and so I used to give him crap for hinting or pointing out that we might never actually end up together forever. Eternal love wasn’t in his book, nor was spending the rest of his life with me. He was very realistic, saying we could never know the future, so it was never guaranteed that we’d have a happy ending. I hated this about him but I eventually understood where he was coming from, and as a result I’ve become more logical and realistic as well.
  5. He rarely says “I love you.” We usually feel more secure if our guys constantly tell us that they love us. It makes us think they’re not going anywhere and that the relationship is stable. While it is nice to have someone like this, I think having the opposite is actually better for me. Because he rarely says “I love you,” when he does say it, it always feels a lot more sincere and memorable.
  6. He only gives me compliments when he means it. I could look gorgeous in my eyes after putting on tons of makeup and he still wouldn’t tell me I looked cute. That’s just how he is. He only gives me compliments when he truly means it—and he does it when I least expect it, which actually feels so much better. Wanting to get more of these compliments, I see to it that I take proper care of myself and always put an effort into looking good. If he complimented me all the time, I’d probably stop trying to look good. Still, I’m well aware I shouldn’t rely on guys to boost my self-esteem.
  7. He’s not afraid to point my flaws out to me. I have a lot of flaws and I used to hate it when my previous partners pointed it out, but his willingness to be honest with me about my downfalls (and to accept when I do the same for him) allows me to change or improve them. I still have flaws, but I’ve taken care of probably half of them.
  8. He doesn’t say sweet yet empty words to make me feel better about myself. Whether we had a long, bad day at work or we’re PMSing, it’s nice to have a man who tells us sweet things. For the first 24 or 25 years of my life, I could only see myself dating a guy who knew what to say when I was feeling down. Now that I’m with him, I now know that it’s better to hear more realistic and genuine things than empty words of romance. Instead of feeling better after hearing something nice and sweet, I actually try to remedy my negative feelings by doing something that would eliminate the root cause of these feelings.
  9. He actually knows why he loves me instead of saying it’s inexplicable. I found it truly romantic and sweet every time I asked an old lover why he loved me and he answered he just couldn’t explain it. Well, now that I’m older and more mature, I understand that love just doesn’t sprout out of nowhere. There are definitely reasons we fall in love with people, and his reasons have made me love myself even more.
  10. He doesn’t do PDA on social media. While he does include me in his posts and tags me in memes, he doesn’t really declare his undying love for me. I used to think that’d be great, but not anymore. After all, we don’t need anyone’s approval. We can be happy without everyone knowing that we are.
I'm a nomad and anime nerd who loves rock climbing and traveling.