If A Guy Ever Proposes To Me, I’m Going To Say No

Most girls dream of getting engaged and spend years fantasizing of the special day their “One” pops the question. I am not one of those girls. In fact, if a guy ever proposes to me, I’m going to say no. Here’s why:

  1. If I said yes, I’d be lying. I just really hope that my boyfriend doesn’t randomly propose to me in public so I don’t have to embarrass him by saying no in front of a crowd of people. It’s annoying because guys do this whole song and dance when they propose, assuming that the woman is going to say yes, but I can tell you right now, that’s not always the case. I mean, I don’t want to lie, do I?
  2. I’ve never loved someone so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with them. I’ve been in love, sure, but I don’t think I’ve ever been so in love with someone that I couldn’t possibly picture my life without them. I mean, does that kind of love even exist? I feel like those initial emotions in a relationship are just part of the honeymoon phase and then everything gets leveled out. True love is actually just an elevation of adrenaline in the system, after all.
  3. I don’t want to end up like my parents. The biggest reason I’ll always say no to a proposal is that I don’t want to eventually get divorced just like my parents. They divorced when I was about 13 and it totally ruined my life for a few years. People don’t take into consideration how devastating a divorce can be for both the parents and the children. I really don’t want to re-live those horrible memories again.
  4. It’s too messy. Marriage may seem like a highly organized institution, but the people living it know how messy it can be. The rate of divorce has risen to 50 percent, meaning that as of 2017, half of the couples who get married will eventually end in divorce. That statistic is way too high for me to consider letting someone put a ring on my finger.
  5. I can’t trust my judgment. If I do say yes to a proposal, there’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll go back on my decision. I do this when I’m trying to decide what to wear in the morning—who’s to say I won’t do it with who I’m going to marry? I don’t want to break my boyfriend’s heart and change my mind, so it’s better to just not get married at all.
  6. Intense fear would take over and cause me to say no. I’m just picturing it now. If someone asked me to marry them, even if I wanted to, I’d say no immediately because it would cause a fear reaction in my body. I get the same reaction when I pass wedding dress shops or look at anything having to do with weddings. I get this feeling like it’s all going to come crashing down and it’s something that’s going to hurt me. It’s not totally logical but those scary thoughts are always there.
  7. I would at least have to think about it. How can people just say yes in the moment without thinking about it? That always confused me. I guess they would have maybe discussed marriage here and there, so it was kind of a guarantee she would say yes. I can just picture myself being like, “Oh, I don’t know.” What then?
  8. I don’t need a certificate to prove my commitment to someone. The idea of “locking someone down” with the law is just so… unromantic. Marriage is kinda funny because on one hand, it’s the most romantic event a couple could ever experience but on the other hand, it’s like you don’t trust yourself to just stay together so you have to get the government involved.
  9. I don’t want it to hold me back. I equate getting married with loss of freedom. Don’t get me wrong, I do want a life partner—I just don’t want all the pressure that comes with being a good wife and getting locked into a situation where the only way out is divorce. That’s truly scary to me.
  10. The whole thing is just so cheesy. Seriously, I feel like it’s time to put this marriage thing to bed, especially when we consider our current social climate. When people get married nowadays, I just can’t take it seriously. It’s just so… cringy! Maybe it’s because everyone knows in the back of their minds that the seemingly happy couple is going to get divorced in a matter of months because those are just the statistics. Or maybe it’s the fact that they’re making a huge, cheesy display of their love and forcing people to give them gifts and money for it. It’s just… way too much.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.