To The Guy Who Rejected Me Because I’m Fat

I really liked you and thought we could build something real together. Unfortunately—or rather fortunately, now that I think about it—we never got the chance because my weight was a deal breaker. I’m fat, sure, but you’re so much worse.

  1. I’m not sure whether I should be offended or amused. I’ve dealt with plenty of judgment about my weight over the years, but having a guy who seemed to be into me at first only to tell me that I’m “a little too fat for [him]” when things got real was slightly mind-blowing. I understand everyone has their personal tastes and I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but you seemed to love hanging out with me until I was ready to take things to the next level. WTF?
  2. You’re shallow and sad. The fact that my weight was the singular deal breaker in our potential relationship tells me pretty much everything I need to know about you. You’re shallow and superficial and are willing to let my physical appearance override all of the other qualities you claimed to love about me. Frankly, you’re not the kind of guy I want to be with anyway.
  3. You’re not some kind of god among men yourself. I won’t lie and say that physical attraction isn’t important but I loved your sense of humor and your apparent intelligence so much that I wasn’t all that bothered that you weren’t my standard type physically. You’re not exactly Brad Pitt and I find that charming, but the fact that you could judge me so harshly when you’re not physically perfect either is kinda ridiculous.
  4. I love my body so I don’t care if you don’t. It took me a long time to learn to love my body just the way it is. Is there room for improvement? Of course. Do I need someone else telling me what I need to fix, how and when? Nope. Hating myself isn’t inspirational, it’s self-defeating. Now I love myself even when the world doesn’t, so if you thought you’d destroy my self-confidence, you couldn’t be more wrong.
  5. Beauty has nothing to do with the number on a scale. I wouldn’t be any more beautiful at 120 pounds than I am at 250. Just as the number on the scale doesn’t determine my self-worth, it doesn’t determine how beautiful I am. You may not see that beauty but there are plenty of people who do. Maybe you’re just blind.
  6. Speaking of which, my weight doesn’t determine my health either. Assuming that I’m unhealthy, lazy, or gluttonous because of my weight is ridiculous. I don’t sit around eating McDonald’s on the couch every day and the assumption that I and other fat people face is unfair and downright stupid. I love being active and feeding my body with nutritious foods, not that I should have to justify that to you or anyone else.
  7. Any guy would be lucky to have me. Seriously, I’m a catch. I’m kind, smart, funny, and I have a big heart. I’d be a wonderful girlfriend to a guy who was up to the task of being a great boyfriend to me in return. Just because you find my weight to be a turn-off doesn’t mean every other guy will.
  8. You seriously missed out. Bottom line, your close-minded and shallow ignorance is costing you what could have been one of the best relationships of your life. We could have built something special, something real and solid that filled your life with love, joy, and happiness at every turn. I guess you’ll never know what you could have had—I’ll save it for a guy who knows how to appreciate what he has in front of him.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia