A Guy Who Respects You Will Respect Your Standards — No Need To Lower Them

Whether you’re in your first relationship or your 50th, you probably (hopefully) have a set of standards that you hold your partner to. However, when you really like a guy, it can be tempting to let some of your values slide if it means keeping him in your life. Be on the lookout for a guy who doesn’t give a crap about your standards, because you’ll soon start to see this type of behavior from him:

  1. He’ll never make more than the minimum amount of effort. If you don’t have standards, then you’ll be accepting any old behavior from guys. Your standards are the key to finding a great relationship with a great man, not an average one that can be found anywhere. He needs to put in the work to respect what you’re about.
  2. He’ll constantly push your limits. A guy who truly respects you will be very aware of where your limits are so he doesn’t cross them and piss you off. By respecting your own standards, you show him he needs to respect them, too. The right guy won’t try to push the boundaries of what he can get away with.
  3. He’ll take you for granted. Unconditional love sounds romantic, but it’s not realistic. It’s basically telling men that they can do whatever the hell they want and you’ll be there to love them. Your standards need to be upheld because they remind guys that you’re not there by default; they need to respect and value you to keep you there.
  4. He’ll trash what’s most important to you. Your standards keep you focused on what you deserve from a relationship, preventing you from settling for anything less than what you deserve. Now imagine a guy starts dating you and completely disrespects those values that are important to you. It would be like setting fire to all the things in your life that you love the most.
  5. He’ll be a toxic boyfriend. A man who tries to lower your standards is trying to take advantage of you. He’s going to try to prey on your kindness or guilt you into giving him support during his “rough patches” in which he cheats on you or calls you terrible names. You know you deserve better than to let him use you like that.
  6. He won’t be committed to you. If you want to know if a guy is truly committed to you, look at how he treats your standards. A guy who’s in love with you will want to meet and exceed your expectations rather than ignoring them. He’s committed to you in the long term and wouldn’t want you to be unhappy.
  7. He’ll be selfish AF. A guy who disrespects your standards is just out for his own gains. He’ll be sticking around for as long as he can get all the relationship perks while being a jerk.
  8. He won’t really love you. You might think a guy shows his love by being loyal and caring for you, and you’re not wrong. But how he treats your expectations is an important measure of just how much he respects you. If he expects you to lower your standards for him, he’s saying you’re not important to him. A guy who loves you won’t change you or what matters to you.
  9. He won’t be afraid to lose you. If he respects you, he respects what you’re about: your boundaries, your values, your morals, and everything else you hold dear. He’ll support these things no matter how high your standards are because he knows you value yourself and don’t need him one bit. A guy who disrespects what’s important to you, on the other hand, isn’t afraid to let you go. Luckily, though, this jerk doesn’t need to be in your life in the first place.
  10. He won’t care what you think. When a guy reacts to your boundaries with anger, then your warning bells should ring loud and clear. He’s a guy who doesn’t understand the meaning of “no” and doesn’t care about showing you respect. He’s all about himself.
  11. He’ll let the relationship die. He’s not stupid. He knows what he’s doing by throwing shade onto your expectations. How can this relationship last if he’s taking advantage of you like that? Honestly, even if you don’t walk away, he will eventually.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.