For guys who are in the market for a serious girlfriend, there are definitely specific things we’re looking for in a potential partner. However, while we have a lengthy list of things we want, there are also plenty of qualities that totally put us off. Basically, if you exhibit any of these red flags, it’s unlikely that we’ll consider you girlfriend material.
Drama queen behavior
To be fair, there are a lot of different ways to define drama queen behavior and some guys will be more tolerant of it than others. In fact, some may actually seek it out. But if you like to stir the pot just because you can or feel like you should always be the center of attention, most guys will catch on sooner or later and reconsider whether they want to start seeing you exclusively.
Having terrible friends
Like it or not, you are the company you keep. If a guy meets your friends and doesn’t hit it off with them, he may reconsider the relationship. In our defense, most guys aren’t that petty. But if a guy finds your friends annoying and unbearable to be around, it may not be worthwhile to continue seeing you since you’re obviously not going to dump your friends. It also doesn’t reflect well on you if a guy hates your friends, which is why it’s a red flag and a potential dealbreaker.
Being rude to the help
This applies to guys as well because anyone who is rude to the waiter, the barista, or anybody working in the service industry should have an “undateable” tattoo put on their forehead. Unless there’s a good reason, anyone who mistreats service workers is a terrible person, end of story.
Trashing your exes
As a general rule, guys don’t want to hear about your ex. You’re not together anymore, that’s all we need to know. You may think we want to hear bad things about the guy you dated before us but we don’t. Honestly, if all of your relationships end with you absolutely hating one another, it’s a red flag. Not all breakups have to be ugly, and if that’s all you’ve ever experienced, it’s a sign that you may not make the best girlfriend.
Being unable to carry a conversation
Contrary to popular belief, guys do care about things other than your physical appearance. We get a bad reputation for being shallow and superficial, but most of us actually like smart women. It’s probably more true of older guys. To be fair, guys looking for something more casual won’t care about this, but a good guy who’s genuinely looking for a girlfriend will want an intelligent woman who can carry a conversation. When that’s a problem, it’s a big red flag for us.
Wearing a crown
OK, most of the time this will just be a metaphorical crown. Nevertheless, much like drama queens, guys can usually spot a woman who genuinely believes that she’s a princess. She expects you to kiss her feet (again, mostly metaphor) and have your life revolve around her as soon as you start dating. Some guys can put up with it, but it’s a red flag for most.
Being glued to your phone
This is another one that goes both ways. I think we can all agree that anyone who is always on their phone during a date is not relationship material. Sure, it’s fine when you’re a little more settled or just hanging out at home. But when you’re out on a date, it’s an obvious red flag when a woman is more interested in checking her phone than talking to you. Almost any guy who’s even remotely interested in a girlfriend will quickly move on.
Wearing too much makeup
Admittedly, it’s hard to criticize a woman for wanting to look her best for a date, but there is such a thing as too much makeup and it’s usually obvious to most guys. Overdoing the makeup comes off as a little fake and insecure, which are obvious red flags for potential girlfriends. Look, you ladies can do whatever makes you happy and feel good about yourself, but most guys would prefer to see a more natural look from potential girlfriends.
Not offering to pay
OK, I’m not saying the days of guys paying for dinner and drinks on a date are over, but I think we’re at least to the point of women offering to split the bill. Please, ladies, tell me if I’m wrong about that. In fairness, most modern women are totally down for this. However, there are a few women out there who will still expect the guy to pay, no questions asked. It’s not that we mind paying, but not even offering makes it seem like you’re just out for a free meal rather than the pleasure of our company. Trust me when I say that guys always notice this and it’s a major red flag if you want the relationship to go anywhere.
To be honest, I do feel a little bad about this one. Some people just come from crappy families and there’s nothing you can do about that. But if a woman is estranged from her family or we have to endure crazy amounts of drama when her family comes around, it’s definitely a red flag. Some of the good guys will try not to judge too quickly. But a girl with family issues is sometimes baggage that we don’t want to carry.
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