A Guy Reveals What We’re Really Thinking When We See You Cry

There’s nothing wrong with a good cry every now and then, but you should know that if you cry in front of a guy, he may have some pretty unexpected reactions to it. Here are some of the biggest thoughts that cross our minds when we see you turn on the waterworks.

  1. Guess I lost this argument. A guy would have to be absolutely heartless not to fold if an argument makes a woman cry. We’ll be frustrated, but deep down, if it makes you upset enough to cry, we know we’re probably in the wrong. Just make sure that you don’t start crying just to win a disagreement—we’ll probably catch on to that eventually.
  2. She better not be faking. Yeah, some guys are actually this cynical. In defense of those of us who assume your tears are fake, understand that we’ve probably dated a lot of drama queens in our lives so we’ve been conditioned to think that women cry over stupid things. Again, if we’re this negative, you’re probably better off without us.
  3. Oops, I did it again. On the opposite side of the spectrum, some of us may assume that you crying is a direct result of something we did. We’re not exactly filled with self-confidence since we assume we did or said the wrong thing. Of course, if we are the reason you’re crying, at least we feel guilty about it.
  4. What do I do? What do I do? Some of us will express genuine concern about a woman we see crying. The problem is that most of us have no idea how to help. Do we talk to you? If so, what do we say? Do we just give you your space? Do we try to comfort you? Think about it from our perspective, we want to help but don’t know how. If you ladies could shoot us a hint, that’d be great.
  5. How can I get out of here? Admittedly, not all guys are all that noble. When we see a woman cry, we start thinking about possible escape plans. I promise it’s nothing personal, but some of us just aren’t emotionally equipped to deal with a woman who’s super upset. For all we know, you just want to be left alone, so leaving the situation could be best, right?
  6. I wish I wasn’t here. OK, so this one is a little different from the last one. Some of us start planning an escape when we see a woman cry while others will merely wish really hard that we could be somewhere else. See the difference? The latter type of guy will stick around, in part because he feels obligated to do so for one reason or another. Honestly, I think it’s kind of sweet to stick around even when you’d kill to avoid being around a woman who’s crying.
  7. Is she happy or sad? Unless we’ve seen you cry before, we may not know if you’re crying because you’re happy or sad. Eventually, we should learn more about the things that may make you cry both in a good way or bad way. If you happen to be someone who cries when you’re happy, that’s totally cool.
  8. I wish I had some popcorn for this. For the record, I don’t condone this kind of insensitivity in men. However, there are some jerks out there who view a woman crying as a sick form of entertainment—hopefully you don’t have a boyfriend who falls into this category. It’s actually more likely that these men will be strangers who see a woman crying and want to watch the drama from a safe distance. Just be aware of that if you ever find yourself crying in a public place.
  9. How long is this going to last? This isn’t as callous and insensitive as it sounds, right? Some of us will see a woman cry and then start counting down the seconds until you stop and we can both get on with our days. The kind of guys who think this have probably seen the same woman cry on multiple occasions. They see your tears as kind of like a hurricane and they just want to ride out the storm.
  10. Please don’t do this right now. The guy who thinks this is rather selfish and just doesn’t want the inconvenience of having to comfort you or talk through the reasons why you’re crying. They probably had plans to do something that didn’t involve you crying, so they’re upset that you disrupted their day. Again, I don’t condone the guys who think like this. Sadly, there are guys who will have these selfish thoughts when they see a woman cry, even if it’s their wife or girlfriend.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.