Moving in together is a natural step for couples who have been together for a long time, but it’s also a big one that’s not to be taken lightly. Guys can be a little more hesitant to move in together, which is why it’s important to be sure he’s truly ready before you broach the topic. Here’s how you know it’s the right time.
- He wants to spend every night together. There’s a difference between wanting to spend the night together and feeling obligated to spend the night together. Hopefully you can tell the difference between the two. A guy that genuinely wants to spend every night with you is probably ready to move in. It doesn’t matter if you guys sleep at your place or his place. If he wants to have a sleepover every night beyond the honeymoon phase, he’s ready for the next step.
- His stuff is piling up at your house. If he’s at your house so often that his non-essential items have found their way, he’s probably ready to move in. Just to be clear, a toothbrush and some clothes are no big deal, but if he brings other items that he uses on a random Saturday morning, (you know, like a waffle maker), he’s ready to cohabitate on a more permanent basis.
- He starts talking about real estate. Any mention of your lease, his lease, or a certain part of town he likes is a strong indication that he’s ready to shack up. He may not even realize that he’s bringing up these things and the meaning behind them, but he probably isn’t talking real estate if the thought of moving in together hasn’t occurred to him.
- You buy appliances together. Sure, couples that don’t live together go shopping together, but it doesn’t take two people to buy a new toaster or crockpot. If your boyfriend is interested in being around when you make appliance purchases, it’s a sign that he knows you’ll be sharing those appliances sometime soon. On the other hand, if he wants nothing to do with appliance shopping, you’ll know you’ll be keeping separate apartments for the foreseeable future.
- He opens up to you. Guys are notorious for not being open with their emotions, so if this is no longer a problem, it’s a sign that he’s ready to take the next step in your relationship. Sometimes that next step means moving in together. If you have to pester your boyfriend to open up, the two of you probably aren’t ready to live under one roof. That’s just the hard truth. However, if you have a boyfriend who’s open and honest with you, it should be safe to bring up the topic of moving in together.
- You can talk openly about money. Sadly, there’s a financial element to moving in together—it’s not all about love and romance. If a guy starts asking about your finances, it could be a precursor to talking about getting a place together. It could be his way of looking for information without actually bringing up moving in. Obviously, if this happens early in the relationship, he could be a gold digger. But if you’re an established couple, talking money could lead to a conversation about moving in.
- He cooks at your place. If you’re hanging out at his place, of course he’ll cook for you, right? However, it could be a big deal if a guy insists on cooking for you at your place. It means he’s comfortable in any kitchen and comfortable making himself at home. Deep down, he could be thinking about turning your place into “our” place.
- Home improvement is a couple thing. You and your boyfriend doing any kind of home improvement together could be a sign that you’re ready to share a place. It could be re-arranging the furniture at your place, picking out paint for his place, or putting together something from IKEA. Guys aren’t going to do any of the above unless they’re warming to the idea of moving in together.
- Your relationship is stronger after a fight. If you and your boyfriend can get past a fight and feel like your relationship is even better than before, it’s always a good sign. If you move in together, there’s a good chance there will be fights so you need to be able to deal with it. If you can tell that your boyfriend is more committed to you following an argument, you can feel better about living together.
- He was happy on your last vacation. We’re not talking about a weekend getaway—you need to be on vacation for at least a week to replicate moving in together. If the two of you can travel together, spend every waking moment around each other, and remain happy, it’s a good sign that you can handle living together. If your vacation was kind of a disaster, moving in probably isn’t in the cards. However, if your boyfriend was happy and delighted to be around you all vacation long, it’s a sign that he might be ready to take the plunge and live together.
