As a guy, I can appreciate that there’s nothing more frustrating to you ladies than when your boyfriend starts acting distant. While it’s good to know what to do when this happens, I’m sure it would also be useful to know why it’s happening. After all, your instinct might be to assume that it’s something you did when that’s usually not the case at all. Here are some possibilities to explain what might be going on.
He’s under a lot of stress.
Keep in mind that this probably has nothing to do with you. If a guy is experiencing stress in other parts of his life, it’s natural for him to pull away and become distant in a relationship. Oddly enough, this is usually when he needs his partner more than ever. However, guys often prefer to take care of problems themselves and not involve their girlfriends if they can help it. That means pulling away and seeking space from their relationship. This may not be the best way to handle things, but it does happen.
He’s considering a commitment.
Right before a guy takes a step forward in a relationship commitment-wise, it’s normal for him to freak out. While he’s contemplating taking things to the next level, he may seem a little distant. If the relationship is approaching the point of an engagement, pulling away is something he might do before popping the question. Doing so gives him a chance to clear his head and decide if this is what he really wants. The lesson here is that if you’re in a long-term relationship, don’t freak out if this happens every now and then.
He’s unconvinced of your feelings.
Sometimes a guy will become distant if he thinks you are. This can be a form of self-preservation when he’s unconvinced that you have strong feelings for him. If he senses that you’re no longer into the relationship, he won’t want to become too invested in it. One thing about men is that we’re afraid of putting ourselves out there if we’re not sure you’re feeling it. If he’s misreading those signs, I would suggest you show him some affection because he’s likely to reciprocate.
The relationship is moving too fast.
No offense, but I know for a fact that you ladies do this too sometimes. Early in a relationship, things can sometimes start to feel like a runaway train. The only way to stop this is to pull away and get some distance. This doesn’t always mean that he isn’t interested, but if you also sense that things are moving fast, don’t be surprised if he wants to find a way to slow things down. He’s not trying to end things. He just feels like he’s losing control and is trying to get it back.
He’s an introvert.
Ideally, you should be able to recognize that you’re dating an introvert early in the relationship. As an introvert myself, there are some things you should know about dating one. For instance, guys who are naturally introverted will become distant from time to time. Men like this are frequently looking for a little extra space. Because of this, they don’t always recognize when they aren’t giving a relationship the time and attention it deserves.
He’s afraid of getting dumped.
This is another case of self-preservation. If he senses a breakup coming, he becomes distant to protect himself from getting hurt. He doesn’t think it’ll change the outcome even if he can delay the breakup. Rather, he does it so that the breakup hurts less. Of course, men are flawed creatures and we sometimes think we’re about to get dumped when we’re not. In a way, this causes us to become distant for no good reason.
There are other things going on in his life.
Remember, ladies, it’s not always about you. If he feels he needs to focus on his career or family issues, he can take a step back. Keep in mind that most men aren’t relationship-first people. Particularly early in a relationship, we may not explain that there are other things in our lives that require our attention. This can make it easy to think that something’s up when it’s really not.
He’s just not that into you anymore.
Unfortunately, this is one possibility when your boyfriend suddenly becomes distant. It’s possible that he’s just not feeling into the relationship anymore. He may not be ready or willing to just end things, but by being distant, he’s imploring you to dump him. It’s also possible that he’s not super-interested in continuing the relationship. This isn’t always the case, but it is a possibility.
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