A Guy Reveals What It Means When He Says He’s Thinking About You

Wouldn’t the world be a simpler place if everybody just said what they meant? It would certainly make dating a lot easier. Admittedly, guys are guilty of not always saying what we mean quite frequently. One of the toughest things to decode is when a guy says he’s been thinking about you. What does he even mean by that? Here are a few possibilities.

  1. He’s infatuated with you. If you’ve been with a guy long enough, you should know if he loves you or not. Needless to say, if you know a guy loves you and he says that he’s been thinking about, there’s nothing to decode. But if the relationship is new, a guy saying that he’s thinking about you could easily mean that he’s infatuated with you. Of course, he’s attracted to you physically, but there’s also something about you that keeps swimming around in his head that keeps him thinking about you a lot.
  2. He’s testing the waters. Let’s be honest, a guy telling you that he’s thinking about you can be a big deal. In a way, he’s putting himself out there. However, he’s not overtly saying how badly he wants you. Rather, he’s testing the waters to see how you respond to such a statement. In other words, he might be interested in you but he needs to know that you feel the same too.
  3. He’s hung up on you. If you’ve known him for an extended period of time but you were never an official couple, he might try telling you that you’ve been on his mind. Even if nothing serious ever happened between you two, perhaps he’s never gotten past that possibility. Maybe memories of you keep popping up in his head. Whatever the relationship between you might have been in the past, he seems hung up on it and feels compelled to let you know.
  4. He’s worried about you. Sometimes thinking about someone is simply about being concerned. Have you given a guy a reason to be worried about you? Have you told him about a difficult challenge in your life? If so, it’s possible that he’s a concerned friend who’s worried about you. However, that concern can also be a sign that perhaps he cares about you more than you realized.
  5. He misses you. This is where things can get a little fuzzy. If you’ve been seeing him for a while, perhaps it’s only natural for him to miss you. Telling you that he’s been thinking about you is one way to convey that, but that doesn’t always mean you should read deeper into this because it’s natural for someone you’ve grown close with to be thinking about you.
  6. He wants to form a deeper connection. As I mentioned, telling someone that you’ve been thinking about them can be a big deal. There’s some level of intimacy to it. This is why some guys will say this as a way to forge a deeper connection with you. Of course, the feeling has to be mutual to make that connection. But this can be one way that he makes the first move and makes an effort to connect with you.
  7. He wants you to look at him in a different way. If a guy is trying to move out of the friend zone, telling you that he thinks about you is one tactic he might try. As I said, it’s kind of a big deal to let someone know you’ve been thinking about them. In a way, it does move beyond an ordinary friendship. That’s why if one of your guy friends says this, it’s possible he’s trying to get you to look at him as more than just your buddy.
  8. It’s an ice-breaker. If you haven’t heard from a guy in a while, he might use the “thinking about you” line as an ice-breaker. It’s almost an apology for being out of contact for a while. He wants to butter you up and get into your good graces again. That’s why he tells you that even if he hasn’t been calling or texting, he’s still been thinking about you. Of course, whether it’s true or the guy is using it to hit on you is another issue.
  9. He wants to get back together. If we’re talking about an ex who’s been thinking about you, it’s a safe assumption that he wants to get back together. It might be different with women, but no guy will say that to an ex if he isn’t interested in a reunion. If nothing else, he just wants to say it as a way to gauge your feelings based on how you respond.
  10. He wants to get you into bed. Sorry, ladies, but I had to include the cynical possibility of a guy saying that he thinks about you. I mean, tell me that your heart doesn’t melt just a little when someone says that to you. Some guys know this, and so they use this line as a ploy to get you into bed. Whether it’s true or not, guys know that you’ll like hearing it, and so by saying it, they think it improves the chances of the night ending in sex.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.