To The Guy Who Stood Me Up — Screw You

If you don’t want to date me, that’s fine, but don’t dare stand me up. I’m not going to bite if you call an hour before our date to say you can’t make it. I’ll be disappointed, but you might still stand a chance. Being stood up isn’t fair to anyone and if you don’t have a damn good reason for doing it, you’re a loser.

  1. How long before I should be officially pissed? I tried give you a little leeway. I realize traffic’s hell and maybe you got nervous and had some pre-date diarrhea or something. I decided to give you 15-30 minutes before going into bitch mode, when no one’s safe from my wrath.
  2. Did I go to the wrong place? Damn, did I hear you right? I re-checked my texts just to make sure. What if you said the Chili’s on the other side of town? It could’ve been all my fault, and there I was getting pissed at you for no reason. You’d think I was a horrible person and you probably never want to see me again.
  3. Did you think I stood you up? If I was at the wrong place, you probably thought I stood you up, which would then make me the bad guy. Of course, I thought you would have called by then, if that was the case, but no dice.
  4. Should I have called? Maybe I should’ve called you. Every possibility was running through my head: what if you were in some freak accident and completely forgot our date? What if I got the place or time wrong? What if I was being stood up and I look all clingy if I start calling you?
  5. No, loser, you should have called me. OK, I’ve been there before. I knew you were standing me up and I refused to give you the satisfaction of calling and looking for you. You either needed to call me or hope you never ran into me again.
  6. Did you know my ex or something? I wondered who your friends were. It’s not a huge city and I have several angry exes. Did you meet one of them? Did they tell you what I mess I am? You can’t believe everything you hear. After all, I dumped their sorry asses for a reason.
  7. Did you come in, see me, and freak out? Did you come and go before I ever noticed you? I hadn’t even eaten yet, so there couldn’t have been anything in my teeth. I checked my hair and makeup discreetly in my silverware at least a dozen times. What did you see? Why did you run?
  8. I’m hot, right? I’m not obsessed with my body, but I was left feeling a little insecure when you didn’t show. You seemed interested when you asked me out, but then you didn’t bother to show up. What gives? Did you suddenly decide I was more of a 5 than an 8?
  9. I’m going to kill whoever set this up. I hate being set up, especially blind dates. Maybe I shouldn’t blame you at all. Maybe you agreed to a date just to be nice and then couldn’t go through with it. Still a crappy thing to do, but I’ll point my anger towards my not-so-well-meaning friends.
  10. You made me look like an idiot. Yes, I know I was sitting there alone with no food on the table for at least a half hour while I was waiting for you. People were staring, the waiter obviously felt awkward, and I basically looked like a dumbass. Thanks a lot, jerk.
  11. You know what? I’m glad you never showed. What if you had showed and I didn’t find out what a douchebag you were until a few months in when you started ghosting me or cheating on me? As pissed as I am right now, I’m glad you didn’t show. It saved me a lot of wasted time. Besides, I left and got a giant burger, and it was delicious.
  12. You make me never want to date again. I’m so tired of this crap. I spent hours getting ready, drove to meet you, and nothing. Not even a text. I do have a life, but you didn’t respect me enough to show up or let me know that you weren’t going to. It’s losers like you that make me want to swear off dating.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.