A Guy Told Me I Reminded Him Of His Ex After We Slept Together And It Was Weird AF

One time I met this super cool guy and we started hanging out. One thing led to another and we decided to sleep together. The sex was okay—not the best I’d ever had but whatever. Just when I was getting over the mediocre sex, things got really weird when he told me all of the ways I reminded him of his ex. WTF?

  1. He said we looked alike. When we finished, the first thing he said to me was that I looked just like his ex-girlfriend. I thought to myself, “Huh, is that why you asked me out in the first place?” I was suspicious of his motives now because he was the one who pursued a date with me in the first place. Was this why? Was it because his ex-GF and I were practically twinning?
  2. He showed me her picture. He started getting weirder when he actually pulled out his phone and oh-so-casually scrolled through her Instagram page to show me. I was lying naked under my sheets in my bed looking at his ex-girlfriend’s super smiley (and very pretty) face. To say that I felt out of place in my own house was an understatement.
  3. He even told me he missed her. I was still baffled by his audacity to pull up her social media accounts when he started talking about her… and I let him. Huge mistake, right? He went on about how he kind of missed her even though their relationship wasn’t a healthy one. At this point, I was totally uninterested and a little annoyed that he was bringing this up moments after we had sex. He talked and talked and I was looking for a polite way to get him out of my apartment.
  4. He told me that I was the first woman he’d slept with since they broke up. Awkward! Like, what do you say to that? I just nodded my head and tried to be polite even though I definitely didn’t have to be. I figured that would explain why the sex was mediocre and lasted mere minutes. He was nervous and I was the first woman he’d slept with in years that wasn’t this chick.
  5. I kind of felt bad for him so I asked him why they broke up. I asked him out of sheer courtesy, even though he probably didn’t deserve any at all. This opened the floodgates and embarked on a long, weird road talking about their relationship. I’d like to remind you that this happened not even 15 minutes after he was inside of me.
  6. Clearly, he just needed to talk. They say that sex (even bad sex) makes you get into your feelings because it releases all kinds of bonding hormones into your brain that break down your emotional walls. Well, apparently this is what happened to him! Dude just needed to get his feelings out. As a sensitive gal myself, I’m always down for a deep life talk… just not when I’m naked in my bed when the subject matter concerns an ex-girlfriend.
  7. Realizing that I was his rebound was kind of relieving at the time. As he went on and on, I came to the realization that yes, I was a rebound and no, this was probably not going to go anywhere because he was clearly still obsessed with his former girlfriend. To be honest, I had also just gotten out of a very long relationship myself and I was seeking to fill my time with something more casual too (even though I would never bring up my ex after sex with another guy). I felt a bit of relief knowing that he didn’t want anything serious from me.
  8. I still felt uncomfortable being someone’s obvious stand-in. Feeling that he was probably trying to mend his conflicted heart by spending time with me, someone who resembles his ex, made me feel uncomfortable and maybe a bit used. Up until that evening, I thought that we were having fun getting to know each other and I was excited for our dates to possibly turn into something more steady even if it was low stakes.
  9. It showed me that sex can be used for all the wrong reasons. People have sex for all kinds of reasons. Some reasons are healthier and more honorable than others. After this encounter, I realized that I need to vet people a little bit more before sleeping with them. I don’t regret my decision because I really did like him. Still, I don’t like the feeling of discomfort that I felt when he finally left my apartment that night. Even though I was relieved, I feel like we shouldn’t use other people to help us move on because it can end up affecting someone. We should deal with our own emotions and issues to fully get over a heartbreak so we can enter a new dating relationship or sexual relationship free of baggage.
Marie is an ambitious millennial woman, leading a corporate life by day and doing her best to live, laugh and love.