To The Guy Who Treats Me Like Crap In Front Of HIs Friends

You seem to feel real love for me in private but when when we’re in front of your friends, you act like we’re nothing more than hookup buddies. What’s that about??

  1. Being a boyfriend obviously isn’t a priority to you. I see just how important I am to you and boy, am I low on the totem pole. I thought I meant more to you, but you’re showing me just how little I mean when we get around your “boys.” How you treat me is a reflection of how much you care about me, and I get the hint — you don’t care at all.
  2. I’m not asking for PDA, just a basic level of respect. I’m not even into public displays of affection or really public anything. I’m a very private person, especially when it comes to my dating life. I don’t want you to be all over me and I’m not going to air our dirty laundry. I would never make your friends uncomfortable around us, but you don’t have to pretend you don’t care.
  3. I want to be treated like I matter, regardless of who’s around. What on earth makes you think that respecting me in private makes up for bashing me in public? If you really loved me then you wouldn’t care who knew that. You’d be a great boyfriend all of the time, not just some of it because you know what? The brief good doesn’t excuse the bad.
  4. It’s never “lame” to be a good boyfriend. If you think it is, then find a girl with lower self-esteem. I know what I deserve, and I deserve a man who’s not ashamed to be a good boyfriend. I deserve a guy who feels lucky to have me. I want someone who’s proud to show me off in front of his friends and who makes me feel like the girl of his dreams, not the flavor of the week.
  5. Grow up. Honestly, being a crappy boyfriend around your friends is immature. You say you want a real relationship, but if we really have something then you wouldn’t risk it over something as stupid as trying to impress your friends. I want a man who doesn’t have to try so hard. I want a man who’s confident in himself and confident about me. I want maturity, but you’re still playing high school.
  6. I’m too good to put up with this. You know what? I have self-esteem, which means that I’m not going to sit by and watch you treat me like this. If you want to love me in private then you need to do the same thing public because I won’t be your dirty little secret. I’m too good for that kind of behavior.
  7. You care more about what your friends think than what I think. Even worse, you seem to care more about their opinion than your own. It doesn’t matter what your friends think about you, me, or our relationship — the only meaningful opinions here are yours and mine. If you truly care about me, then they should be happy for us because there’s no shame in finding love.
  8. You can’t pick and choose when to be a boyfriend. The fact that your friends are around is no excuse for treating me like crap. You’re a good guy one minute, but the second you’re around your friends, you’re a loser. Which guy is the real you? Having half and half just doesn’t work for me.
  9. Do you really think it’s “cool” to treat women this way? Is sexism really in right now? It’s cool to bang a ton of chicks, but having a steady girl is lame? What world are you living in? If you don’t want a girlfriend, that’s fine, but please don’t lead me on.
  10. I hope your bros make you very happy. I’m not going to stick around for a guy who would treat me like I’m just the girl he sleeps with rather than his actual girlfriend. We’re in a relationship and I need you to act like it. I deserve a man who actually wants to be my boyfriend, but I get it — your friends are more important. Good luck getting them to keep you warm at night.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.