To The Guy Who Tried To Destroy Me But Failed

While the idea that no one can make you feel inferior is a nice thought, the reality is that emotions are complicated and it happens. What I felt was real, and I’m damn well entitled to those feelings. So, here’s to you, the guy who tried to destroy me but failed. I’m stronger than you ever knew.

  1. I don’t deserve to put up with your BS. After months of on-again, off-again arguments, I can pinpoint the exact moment I realized I didn’t deserve to put up with your BS. That moment was the first time in my life that I recognized I have way too much to offer to suffer one more minute. I’m a catch, and I deserve someone who acknowledges and appreciates all I have to offer.
  2. Abuse is more than just physical.Just because I didn’t show up in public with bruises on my face doesn’t mean I haven’t taken a beating. Those emotional scars will always remind me of what I deserve, and what I don’t.
  3. I’m a strong, confident, independent person. I’m a girl who was raised to never expect less than the very best, of both myself and of others — no matter who they are.
  4. I’m not a victim.Feeling sad and being sorry are two very different emotions, and I’m able to recognize the importance of both. I’m sorry that things didn’t work out. I’m sorry you’re going through struggles of your own. I’m not sad that we ended things. I do not feel sorrow that I am finally putting myself first.
  5. I can’t fix you, and I don’t want to anymore. People who constantly put others down are in a lot of pain themselves, and no matter how badly I may have wanted to fix you, the reality is that only you can help yourself.
  6. I’m finished waiting. After we’d fight, I’d wait for you to come knocking on my door. I’d wait for you to come tell me how much you care. I’d wait for you to change the way you acted around my friends and the people I love. Those moments never came, and I just couldn’t wait anymore.
  7. I’m happy with the person I’ve become, and I’m not moldable. I tried to change myself to fit the mold of someone you wanted — a mold in which I had no opinion, couldn’t fully express myself, and most importantly, a mold that dimmed my shine. I deserve to be with a person who makes my sparkle shine brighter, and for that, there’s no compromise or excuse.
  8. It’s your loss. I won’t accept your decision to treat me poorly any longer, nor will I continue to defend you to everyone who questions your intentions. This is who I am, and if you don’t like it, then I’m sorry you’ve missed out on something amazing.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia