Sometimes a seemingly great guy walks into your life and you think you’ve finally found what you’ve been looking for. But before you know it, his behavior totally changes and the truth of who he really is becomes clear. You don’t want to believe that you were wrong about him, but you probably are—especially if he’s putting you through this crap.
He falls off the map for long periods of time. Sure, life gets busy, but people make time for what they want in their lives. It’s fine if a guy has a busy workday, but when he starts pulling the disappearing act for days at a time and only gives you scraps in terms of communication, he’s starting to breadcrumb you. When a guy truly sees long-term potential, he’ll make time.
He constantly bails on plans last minute. It’s never a good sign when a guy starts pulling the ripcord on plans to see you, especially when it becomes so routine that you almost expect it. You try and save face, acting like you’re cool with it and being overly understanding, but after the second or third time, something’s gotta give. You need to decide if getting excited, planning your outfit, and daydreaming about the dates that never end up happening is actually healthy for you. You deserve a guy who sticks to his word and doesn’t treat you like an option in his life.
He has endless excuses. His excuses aren’t consistent. It’s not as if he has anything big or important going on that’s demanding his intention. In fact, his excuses are all over the map and always consist of elaborate and rather unbelievable stories. Don’t let his initial charm fool you. Some guys are masters of disguise and they hide their shade well while stringing innocent women along for the ride. Don’t be one of them.
He makes you feel like a sex object. Sometimes you feel comfortable enough to sleep with a guy you really like and then that guy starts to treat you like that’s all you’re good for. These types of guys have their system down pat. They charm you, make you feel like you’re the only and most amazing girl in their life, sleep with you, and then they kind of pull a Houdini and only pop up every once in a while. When you do see him again, he gets straight down to business and doesn’t seem interested in having those deep conversations you once had—he’s more interested in what color your bra is or what kind of underwear you’re wearing. What a jerk.
He gives you the bare minimum. A few texts here and there, a meetup once a week, a couple of heart emojis and he thinks he’s done his part. Is this the kind of beginning you’ll want to remember when it comes to your future husband? The answer is no. Sometimes cutting a loser out of your life is as simple as asking yourself, “Is this how I want my forever love story to start?”
He’s still on dating apps and actively searching. Dating is messed up in general but the most annoying part is when you’re dating a guy, things are going amazingly well, you’re not interested in anyone else… but he’s still on Tinder, actively using it and going on dates with other women. At a certain point, even if you’re not exclusive, one person continuing to play the field is awkward AF for the other. Again, is this how you want your forever story to begin?
He pressures you to go faster than you’re comfortable with. When you’re not in the mood or just aren’t ready for certain levels of intimacy yet and he makes you feel bad about it, buyer beware. There are an unfortunate number of guys out there who regularly pull this crap with women and quite frankly, it’s pathetic and definitely not how a decent guy will act. If you’re not into it and he has a problem with that, make his problem permanent and show him the door.
He comes around only when it’s convenient for him. As adults, both of your schedules are busy and full of responsibilities but if he can’t make it work with you the same way you do with him to find time together early in the relationship, don’t expect that to change later on. Love isn’t always convenient—it’s the product of effort from both sides.
He plays mind games that confuse you. One minute he seems so hot and into you and the next he’s icy and you’re left wondering where you stand in his life. The right guy for you won’t make you feel this way. When love is right and a guy is meant for you, you won’t need to question your place in his life. He’ll show you every single day.
He calls you crazy for calling him out on his crap. When any of these situations occur and you either ask him for reassurance or call him out for his crappy behavior, his response is to call you crazy and make you feel as if you’re to blame. Stop the relationship immediately and get that loser out of your life.
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