To The Guy Who Wasted My Time — Thank You

I’ll never know the real reason you came into my life, but my gut tells me that your fade away was definitely for the best. In fact, I know it was. Maybe you just wanted to get me into bed, perhaps you just wanted an ego stroke — whatever the reason, you didn’t conquer me. You came in, you flirted, you made false promises, but I was wise to your BS. You wasted my time for no reason, but I’m not mad — in fact, I’m thankful.

You thought I’d be an easy target.

You were probably used to girls falling for your charm and undeniable good looks and jumping through hoops for you to give you everything and anything you wanted, but I’m not that kind of girl. I have a life of my own and morals that I’ll never stray from. I’ve learned my lessons from guys like you in the past.

You thought I’d be blowing up your phone to seek reassurance.

I knew you were trying to bait me into chasing you by going heavy on the texts for a couple days and then going completely silent for a few days after. Then, you’d hit me up again with some cute and suave little line to keep my interest piqued. Truthfully, the only thing you piqued from me was a much-needed yawn from boring me with that cliche player nonsense.

You made plans you never kept but thankfully, I made my own without you.

You asked me out, you told me you missed me, and you’d always try and make me eager to see you until you eventually bailed, just as I always predicted you would. Thankfully, I was never waiting for you, and I never changed my life around just because you showed up. Even if you never followed through on your word, I went on without you and had an amazing time on my own. It’s what I’ve been doing in my life all along.

You saw I wasn’t the kind of woman who could be played.

Part of me knows that deep down, you figured me out early on. You knew you weren’t going to be able to run your game on me, and it threw you for a loop because knowing me and being in my life required actual effort. So instead of trying your luck, you cowered away in defeat. It’s obvious I wasn’t what you were used to. I was a priceless heirloom in your museum of gumball machine toys.

I figured out why you were pulling back and I really didn’t care.

 You probably thought that I would confront you with the question of why: “Why did you pull away? What happened and why did you change your mind?” The truth is, I really didn’t care. I’m looking for a grown man who can have a real conversation and talk about things like adults, not a boy living in the shell of a man.

Your charm and good looks doesn’t work on women like me.

In hindsight, I realize what kind of guy you are, and I’ve met plenty of you before. You’re the hot guy. The badass. The hero who can say all the right things to get exactly what he wants out of women. Maybe I was your first failed conquest or perhaps there have been plenty of other smart women like me before. One thing is for sure — you didn’t have me fooled for a second.

It was nice half-knowing you for no reason.

I guess I’ll never know the real reason you came into my life out of nowhere, ballsy and brazen to get to know me as if you were some kind of Prince Charming swooping in, but even if I never find out, I’m not upset about it at all. You dropped particles of yourself on to me and I got to know a little bit about you. Even if it was all for nothing, I’m proud of the fact that my time with you didn’t end in more heartache — I kept myself strong and level-headed.

I’m glad I didn’t waste my love on you.

I had a lot of love I could have given you, but because of my past experiences with guys like you, I know better now. It’s because of the way you tried to make your way into my life that I was able to avoid what would have only ended up as another epic trainwreck. I read your warning signs and I’m grateful that I saved my love for someone who actually deserves it.

I’m exactly where I need to be — without you.

I guess when I truly think about it, you didn’t really waste my time at all because wasting my time would imply that you took something from me. In reality, you gave me a lot. You gave me clarity; you re-defined my strength, and you energized me. It’s because of you that I know not to settle for a clueless guy who doesn’t know what he wants or how to win a heart like mine. It’s because of you and your attempt at offering me less than I deserve that I remember my worth and what I have to look forward to in the right guy for me. Thank you.

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