In my opinion, second chances are handed out far too often to men who aren’t worthy, so I’m done with them. From now on, if a man wastes his first shot with me, he won’t get a second. Here’s why:
I want a guy who’s boyfriend material from the start.
I’m not going to waste my time and effort trying to train a man. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks and I won’t bother trying. The point is that being boyfriend material is only possible if the guy actually gives AF. If he really likes me, he’ll already know how to be a good boyfriend just because he cares.
I learned my lesson about second chances a long time ago.
I used to be the girl who thought every man deserved a second chance, but after getting taken advantage of over and over again, I’ve learned a thing or two. Maybe he’ll get a second chance, but that chance is going to be with someone else—a girl he’ll take more seriously. I gave him a fair shot but I don’t owe any man anything more than that. He should take the mistakes he made with me as lessons learned.
I want a guy who’s ready for a mature relationship right now.
He’s already shown me his true colors. He’s too immature to take relationships seriously. If a guy wants to be there for the good times but can’t be strong enough to make it through the bad then I’ll never be able to trust or depend on him. I need someone I can count on. I need a man who’s mature enough to stick around, not a guy who runs at the first sign of trouble, regardless of whether or not he’ll someday come running back.
I don’t want to start a relationship on uneven ground.
I would be the one giving him a second chance, which means he’s already in debt to me. He’ll have to earn my trust and soon enough, he’ll grow to resent that. He won’t want to be with a girl who’s giving him one last shot but instead a girl he can make a fresh start with. I don’t want a relationship where one of us feels like we’re always making things up to the other. I want to be equal and I don’t think that’s possible with a second chance.
I’ll forgive a guy… but then I want to forget that guy.
I’m not going to hold a grudge. If we tried or even if only I tried and things didn’t work out, I won’t hold it against him, but I also won’t give him a do-over. I won’t put myself through the same pain all over again. Instead, I’m washing my hands of the situation. I’ll forgive a guy for blowing it. I’ll even wish him the best, but after that, he’s out of my life for good.
I don’t want to waste any more time.
If I already know the guy is bad news then why risk it? Especially when there are so many amazing guys out there who I know wouldn’t waste a chance with a girl like me. There are so many fish in the sea and I’m not going to go back to the ones who already hurt me. I don’t expect men to change. I’d rather just move on to someone better.
I know my worth and I want a man who knows it too.
I think all women should have the confidence to know that they are “a catch,” and I know it too. I’m amazing and if a guy can’t see that, it’s his loss. If he wastes his first shot with me then too bad, so sad. He had his chance and he blew it. He didn’t see my potential, he couldn’t see what a wonderful woman I am, and it doesn’t mean anything to me that he finally sees it now.
If he cares about me, he’ll be good to me from day one.
Guys shouldn’t need second chances. They shouldn’t be screwing up so badly that the relationship actually comes to an end. They don’t just get to start all over again and reenter my life whenever they feel like it. If he’s the man I’m meant to be with then he’ll treat me with love and respect from the very beginning.
I don’t deal with commitment issues.
Been there, done that, and guess what? It was a huge waste of time. If a guy has trouble committing to me, then what I’ve realized is that I’m just not the right girl for him. It’s as plain and simple as that. I shouldn’t have to beg a guy just to be with me and I shouldn’t have to wait an exuberant amount of time for him to be “ready” for a relationship. If he wasn’t ready the first time, I won’t be there for the second.
Once a player, always a player.
In my experience, players might come back around but they definitely don’t stick around. If he left me once, he’s bound to do it again. First, he wants a second chance, then a third, and on and on. I’m drawing a line in the sand. If a man can’t take our relationship serious enough the first time around, then he doesn’t get a second round with me.
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