If Guys Behaved On Dates The Way They Do Over Text

Some men are pretty special when it comes to the way they communicate via text messages. Over the years and with the advance of technology, the way people communicate in general has gotten lazier and lazier. Aside from lazy, men have taken on a new second language, which is only communicated through their phones. When you start dating a new guy, his abilities to function through text like you would expect him to in real life is seriously puzzling, and it made me wonder: would guys actually behave like this in the real world? It would actually be pretty hilarious, and also very eye opening to the guilty gentlemen who participate in these annoyances. Here is what a date would be like if guys behaved the way they do through text messages.

  1. Random emojis. I’ve always wondered what the world would be like if we walked around sticking our tongues out in conversations like we do over text, but on a date with a guy it would be downright weird. Imagine you’re just sitting there talking, and he starts winking after random sentences and putting his hand over his eyes when he says something risque. Creep alert.
  2. Long silences. After answering a question and building a conversation, he just suddenly sits in silence and stares at you blankly from across the table. This is the nonsense that we feel when we ask a simple question or carry on a thought we’re discussing and don’t hear anything back for hours. Seriously, bro. Get it together.
  3. Not ending the conversation properly. Instead of saying goodnight and walking you to your car or front door, he just blatantly gets up and leaves without a single word after dinner. You weren’t fighting, you were getting along great, and he just mutes and bolts. Just say “goodnight” or “talk to you later”. It’s not hard.
  4. One word answers. If the only thing a guy says on a date is “k” and “oh yeah” after you’ve put actual effort into having a conversation, you would probably think it’s rude or that he has no personality. They don’t realize it’s kind of the same thing over text.
  5. Disappearing acts. You’re having a nice evening when your date excuses himself to use the washroom. And then he never returns, ever again. He’s lost into oblivion. This is what ghosting feels like. It’s very confusing. If you’re not having a good time, or you don’t like us, just say so first and then walk your ass out. Sheesh!
  6. Penis pictures. Okay, this one… where do I even start? Whenever we receive an unsolicited penis picture, it’s the same as if he were to whip his penis out at a restaurant onto the table. It’s creepy as hell, dudes. Please, please stop sending those dang pictures before we all band together and create museums in your honor and bank money from your charitable donations to our future sellout exhibits.
  7. Asking for nudes. Not far off from the insanity of penis pics is the asinine request for nudes of ourselves. Imagine just minding your own business, having a great time getting to know someone, and they just ask you to take your clothes off in public. Oh. My. God. Stop asking! Go buy a Playboy or look up some free stuff on the internet.

Not all guys are guilty of the above, but there are many annoying offenders out there and believe it or not, we do judge their overall potential on the way they text us. While the emojis and occasional long silences are understandable, it really should be noted how some of the creepy behaviors would come across in the real world. A good rule of thumb is, if you wouldn’t do it in person, don’t do it in real life. It’s called manners.