To The Guys Who Can’t Handle Strong Women

To The Guys Who Can’t Handle Strong Women ©iStock/Aleksandar Nakic

If you’re a mature, confident guy who has your act together, there’s no reason you’d be intimidated by strong women. We’re ambitious, self-sufficient and totally unstoppable when we put our minds to something — three qualities that should be complete turn-ons. So why is it that some of you can’t seem to handle strong women?

  1. What exactly are you afraid of? Are you afraid of being put down or made to feel weak? There’s a difference between a strong woman and a woman who’s a loser. If you’re telling yourself that you avoid strong women because you don’t want to be nagged or insulted, you’re feeding yourself nothing but myth and fiction. Strong women aren’t here to put you down; we’re here to be awesome and to enrich the lives of anyone lucky enough to have us in theirs.
  2. It’s sad that you can’t deal. A sign of maturity in a man is when he can handle being with a woman who’s the total package. If your goal for a relationship is being in control, you’re missing out. That’s not love, that’s a business partnership. Why would you want to sign up for that? It’s just sad and likely means that you’re going to end up alone.
  3. Are we back on the playground again? Putting others down to prop yourself up is a bully move. If you can’t deal with being with a strong woman, you need to step back and wonder why that is. Do you feel like you always need to dominate in relationships? That’s kind of scary, and it’s a sign you may be more of a bully than you think you are. It’s time to grow up.
  4. We don’t miss you. Trust us, we know your type. We also know we’re better off without you. There’s not a badass woman support group crying over how certain guys won’t date us. Part of being strong women is knowing what we’re worth, and if you’re afraid to pony up and be with one of us, we know we’re better off without you in our lives.
  5. You’re insecure. You might not want to admit it, but if you can’t handle strong women, you’re definitely insecure and need to work on becoming self-assured. Our strength belongs to us and isn’t here to emasculate or intimidate you. If you felt confident in your own strength, ours wouldn’t bother you in the slightest.
  6. Strength can only intimidate you if you let it. Strong women aren’t looking for partners to bully, we’re looking for men just as strong as we are — ones that will actually step up to the plate to be an equal partner in every sense of the world. Learning to go through life as a team and complementing each other’s strengths is an exciting challenge to us strong ladies, probably because we’re mature enough to know that’s what life’s really all about in the first place.
  7. You view us as competition, and that’s screwed up. This is the reason why so many of us don’t even want to date you anyway — you didn’t come here to make friends (or girlfriends), you came to win. Viewing life as a competition is all well and good in the business world, but in the world of relationships? That kind of outlook will leave you high and dry.
  8. Women in your life will leave. As soon as we figure you out, we’ll be gone. You might think you’re fooling everyone, but your particular kind of masculinity is toxic. Women are smarter than you might think, and we’re going to figure you out. You don’t want a relationship, you want someone you can feel in control with, and that’s just not going to happen with us.
  9. You may not be a bad guy, but you definitely come off like one. Maybe you’re not avoiding a strong woman because of some sinister need to control and dominate, but you need to take some time to examine your motivations. What’s driving you away from strong women? What’s the emotional need you’re trying to fulfill? It might be time for you to grow up a little.
  10. Newsflash: all women are strong. Strong women don’t all look the same, but the truth is, we’ve all got an inner core of strength in us. Women are amazing, and they’re going to show you that the longer you’re around them. You can’t avoid a strong woman forever, so maybe it’s time you reconsider.
Becca Rose is a writer with high hopes for her student loan debt. She's a musician and aspiring novelist, but don't ask her to write poetry, because she's terrible at it. She has written for HelloGiggles, The Toast, The Huffington Post, and more. You can find her on Twitter @bookbeaut
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