Guys, Don’t Be Intimidated By Alpha Women—We’re The Best Girlfriends You’ll Ever Have

There are plenty of stereotypes about alpha women out there, and most of them seem to act as red flags that are meant to scare men away from dating us. But even though we’re stubborn, opinionated, and yes, a bit bossy, this is why dating an alpha woman is one of the best choices you’ll probably ever make.

  1. We can handle ourselves. Alpha women are leaders, and that means we know how to survive just fine on our own. You’ll never have to worry about paying all the bills or carrying the weight of the relationship all on your own — in fact, we’d never let that happen. We’re proud women and we’d never put ourselves in a position where we’d be screwed if our partner up and left. When you’re in a relationship with an alpha woman, it’s going to be 50/50 all the way.
  2. We help you become better men. You won’t get away with a bunch of BS when you’re dating an alpha woman, and while that might seem unappealing at first, it pays off over time. Our no-nonsense approach means that we’re not going to have time for men who spend all their cash on booze or flirt with other women online. You may feel like you’re walking a thin line with us, but as time passes, you’ll be much happier with the man you’re becoming because of your relationship with us.
  3. We aren’t scared of confrontation. If something’s wrong, you’ll know it if you’re with an alpha woman. We won’t stay silent if something’s bothering us, and while it may initially seem like we’re naggy or eager to pick a fight, you’ll soon realize that your days of asking what’s wrong and getting a false “nothing” are long gone. You may have more arguments with us, but relationship issues will be solved much faster because we aren’t worried about confronting our problems head-on.
  4. We’re territorial AF. Alpha women are too confident in ourselves to be jealous of other women, but if we see some girl trying to make moves on you while we’re out, she’s going to know that we’re together. We know how to mark our so-called “territory,” and while we have too much dignity to be obnoxious about it, we still know how to make it clear that you’re “ours.” The result is that you feel sexier and more desired, and it also means that you’ll never catch us flirting with other dudes — we’re way too focused on what we already have.
  5. We’re problem-solvers. Alpha women don’t shrug and hope that the problem goes away. In our relationships, careers, and all other aspects of our lives, we search for solutions to every difficulty we face. If you’re going through a rough time, we’ll be the first to see how we can help you feel better. We’re dedicated to ensuring that our own lives and the lives of our loved ones run smoothly, and we’re more than happy to jump in when things go wrong to get things back on the right track for you.
  6. We’re amazing in bed. Do you like blowjobs and girl-on-top sex? Boy, do we have good news for you. Alpha women might seem intimidating for the way we like to take control, but it really pays off in the bedroom. We’ll be happy to dominate you and do all the work necessary to ensure that both of us get off. We’re active participants during sex, and you’ll never find us “starfishing” while you wear yourself out.
  7. We know what we want. From life plans to what we want for lunch, we never have to question what we’re looking for. The phrases “I don’t know” and “I don’t care” rarely escape our lips, and it makes planning a hell of a lot easier. There’s no beating around the bush in our relationships, and it takes a lot of the annoying guesswork out of dates, sex, and long-term plans.
  8. We’re surprisingly good caretakers. There’s a misconception that alpha women are the types to tell you to suck it up when you’re sick or sad, but the reality is that the opposite is true. We love taking the wheel (almost to a fault), and if you’re unable to pick yourself up, we’ll do everything in our power to make you feel better. You can cry in our arms and know that we’ll never judge you for it — we don’t believe in outdated gender roles and expectations. All we want is to figure out how to make you feel better.
  9. We’re picky — and we picked you. Alpha women are so happy on our own that we rarely find ourselves in relationships. Not a lot of men can handle us, and honestly, we’re fine with that — there aren’t a lot of men who could live up to our standards anyway. So the fact that we gave up our singlehood to date you is significant, to say the least. If you’re with us, you can be damn sure that we think you’re a gem, and we’re going to be the best partners possible to ensure you want to stick around.
  10. Not to brag, but yeah, we’re sexy as hell. Confidence and authority are sexy no matter which gender they come from, and alpha women know that we’re catches. We know how to command a room and take control, and the self-assurance we carry will keep you attracted to us while you have us and longing for our presence if you lose us.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.