Most Guys Don’t Like Cuddling—Here’s How To Change Their Mind, According To A Guy

Is there anything better than cuddling with your boyfriend after a long day? If only guys felt the same way. Admittedly, most of us don’t get super excited about cuddling and some of us outright refuse to get on board. That being said, if you have a good guy on your hands, there are ways to win him over on this one.

  1. Don’t force it. You can’t force or coerce someone into cuddling with you. Remember, no means no, even for cuddling. You also don’t want to pressure a guy into it and make him feel like he’s obligated to do it. If you force it, he’ll never like it and you’ll never get quality cuddling time.
  2. Be sneaky. Normally, I don’t encourage game playing, but cuddling is one of the few exceptions. As I mentioned, you can’t force cuddling but you can be a little sneaky about it. If you’re in bed or just lounging on the couch, try to slowly inch toward him as if you’re just trying to get comfortable. This will make it easier to initiate physical contact without being too obvious that you want to cuddle. From there, you can subtly work your way into cuddling position before he realizes what’s going on.
  3. Make sure he’s in a good mood. If you’re trying to sneak your way into cuddling, it’s vital that your boyfriend is feeling upbeat. If the guy isn’t a fan of cuddling, trying to get him to do it while he’s in a bad mood will just make him hate it more. If he’s calm and relaxed, he’s more likely to be receptive to your advances. Plus, if he’s already in a good mood and you can get him to cuddle, he might start having a positive association with it.
  4. Show affection outside the bedroom. Obviously, cuddling is a great way to show someone affection, but it can’t be the only way you show him you care. Showing a guy affection during the day will make him more willing to reciprocate in the evening when it’s cuddle time. If you hold hands, rub his shoulders, or just find a way to remind him of your bond on a regular basis, it should make him a more willing cuddler. If it doesn’t, he’s probably just a selfish guy.
  5. Tell him you like it. If you can entice an anti-cuddling guy to give it a try, tell him how much you enjoyed it. You can use your own words for explaining what you liked about it. Just try to communicate that need some cuddle time every so often. If he’s a good guy, he may become a little more willing to do it as a way to make you happy because he knows it’s important to you.
  6. Look good and smell nice. Admittedly, it’s a little weird to put effort into your appearance before cuddling as if it were a date. Believe me, I get that. But if a guy isn’t in love with cuddling, you have to find a way to form a positive association with doing it in his mind. If you put a little effort into looking nice before crawling up to him and trying to get him to cuddle, he may be more receptive to it. Eventually, you won’t have to treat cuddling like it’s a date night but with some guys, it takes baby steps to get them to come around on cuddling.
  7. Do more than cuddle. Cuddling doesn’t have to lead to sex, but that can be one good way to make a guy like it. Of course, even if cuddling doesn’t lead to sex, it doesn’t mean that you can’t do other stuff. One reason why guys don’t always like cuddling is that it can get a little boring. Quick kisses, nuzzling, or even a little flirty small talk can help take some of the monotony out of it and get a guy to enjoy it a little more. Sometimes cuddling alone just isn’t enough to get a guy on board. It’s sad but true.
  8. Try out different positions. Perhaps your boyfriend doesn’t like cuddling because he’s not in a comfortable position. There are at least a dozen different cuddling positions that couples can try, so look for one that’s relaxing for both of you. Just tell him that you want to experiment with some new cuddling positions in hopes of finding one you both like. It’s not a crazy request, so any worthwhile guy should be amenable to it.
  9. Be willing to be the big spoon. Ladies, I can’t stress this enough: if you want to cuddle, you must be willing to be the big spoon, at least sometimes. Guys don’t often admit it, but most of us enjoy being the little spoon. We probably love it for the same reasons you ladies do. Remember, cuddling is a two-way street. A lot of guys like it when women take charge in bed. Part of that is initiating cuddling by being the big spoon.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.