Every few months, an article about how it’s harder for smart girls to find a guy starts making the rounds. Guys want girls who are easy to get along with, the argument goes, not girls who have actual opinions about the world, preferences they assert, or independent ambitions. And based on Facebook activity — the most recent versions of these articles got hundreds of thousands of Likes — a lot of women seem to believe that their intelligence is a handicap when it comes to love.
It’s not that we don’t disagree it’s challenging out there for smart women. It is. But why are we promoting articles that suggest our intelligence is to blame, as if it’s such a terrible thing? It’s not. Being smart is awesome. The problem isn’t us; it’s them — the guys who are looking for dumb girls — and it’s about time someone said it. So, we will.
Guys who don’t value intelligence in their partners are messed up. Here’s why:
They’re insecure and need to be in control.
The reason guys give for not wanting to be with intelligent women is that we’re “difficult.” In other words, they don’t want to deal with women who have opinions or challenge them in any way. Why? Because they’re insecure and insecure people need to be in control. Secure men, on the other hand, not only don’t mind the challenge but welcome it. Those guys are looking for dynamic, smart, thoughtful women and that’s who you should be focusing on.
They want a body, not a best friend.
The strongest relationships are those where you feel like each other’s best friend. That kind of connection — which is built around the idea of partnership — is difficult to achieve without intellectual chemistry. Any guy who doesn’t want a smart girl probably doesn’t value that kind of relationship. He’s just looking for someone to hang out with so he’s not alone, not someone to grow and learn with. And that’s lame.
Any guy whose idea of a great relationship is one where he’s in control, doesn’t have to deal with his girlfriend’s opinions, and just wants some eye candy is a chauvinist — if pressed, he’d likely admit that he believes men are inherently superior to women. That’s not just a ridiculous and antiquated notion, it’s disgusting.
So, ladies, the next time you think you’ve been ding’d by a guy because you’re too smart, don’t get sad, celebrate — you dodged a bullet. No matter how hot that guy was, or how much fun he seemed, he would ultimately prove worthless. Now that he’s gone, your chances of finding a secure man who values true partnership, connection and chemistry, and who will respect and adore a woman like you, just went up.
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