Guys, Getting Our Attention Isn’t Hard — Just Be A Decent Human Being

Guys, Getting Our Attention Isn’t Hard — Just Be A Decent Human Being

Guys, it may seem tough to get a woman’s attention when there are so many other eligible dudes trying to do the same thing, but it really isn’t that hard to stand out to us in the dating scene. Just think about how you would treat a friend, and then do that. All we’re asking is that you act like a decent human being — that’s rare enough and will win us over in no time.

  1. Mean what you say. AKA don’t lie. You don’t have to pretend to want a serious relationship in order for us to date you. We can handle the truth and will actually end up liking you more if we know you’re being sincere. If we’re not okay with casual, we’ll let you know, but we’d much rather you be upfront with us from the start.
  2. Actually listen to us when we talk to you. Sometimes we get the feeling that our dates have checked out, and it really doesn’t feel good. Even if what we’re saying is boring you to death, you can at least act like you’re listening. Good listening skills are very rare nowadays, and they really shouldn’t be. Wanting you to be engaged and interested in us, especially when we’re just getting to know each other, isn’t too much to ask.
  3. Text us back before the day is over. If you don’t feel at least a little bad for texting us back days later, you need to check yourself. Even our close friends will send a “sorry” if they missed our text or didn’t get back to us until the next day. If you don’t text us back before the day is through and don’t apologize for it, we’re going to assume you’re just playing games or not interested.
  4. Walk us home. We girls are strong, independent, and fearless AF, but walking home late at night can quickly become a life or death situation. Even if you know that our date isn’t going anywhere, at least offer to walk us home to ensure we get there safely. It’s just the right thing to do.
  5. Put your phone down. Everyone seems to have their nose in their phone nowadays — it’s almost an epidemic. We see so many couples on dates with their phones out, completely ignoring each other, and we hate it. Pulling out your phone when you’re in the middle of a conversation with us is rude, and if we see you doing it too many times, you can bet we probably won’t be going out again.
  6. Be flexible. If we don’t feel like going out, be sensitive to our wants and needs. Be the guy who’s cool with whatever and goes with the flow. Be someone who everyone can get along with. It’s a really attractive quality to have in general. Maybe suggest coming over to watch a movie (and actually do that) and ordering Chinese. Being flexible will make us way more comfortable with you and make you come off as way more endearing.
  7. Don’t be late. Showing up late for a date and not apologizing is so NOT okay. Just like you wouldn’t keep your friends waiting, make sure you give yourself ample time to meet us. Some guys play it cool and waltz in twenty minutes late as if it’s no big deal, but it is a big deal to us. Show us that you value our time and respect us. If you can’t do this much this early on, it doesn’t bode well for any possible relationship.
  8. Ask us questions about our lives. If we’re the only ones asking questions, then we probably won’t want a second date. A good conversation will involve questions coming from both sides. If not, it really starts to feel like a job interview and we’ll assume you’re not really into us. Why else wouldn’t you want to know all about us?
  9. Don’t invite yourself in. Just like you wouldn’t invite yourself into your buddy’s house, don’t assume you’re coming into ours. Maybe we’re not feeling well or need to get up early or we just want to be alone, and that’s okay. You can suggest we continue hanging out, but don’t linger around our doors expecting to be let in.
  10. Make time for us. We understand that it’s always a good idea to be a little hard to get when you’re playing the dating game, but after awhile, you should be making time for me just like you make time for your friends or your dog.
  11. Be honest. This one is huge and is probably the most important trait to have if you’re looking to date us. We value honesty over anything else. Ask anyone on the street which trait in a person they most value and you’ll get “honesty” every time. Even if what you have to say to us is negative or doesn’t feel good, just say it. It builds trust and that’s huge.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada.