Are Guys Getting Worse Or Do We Have Unrealistic Expectations?

Between regularly being ghosted, guys checking their dating apps while on dates with us, and the struggle to find someone who wants to do something more than casual, it’s pretty clear dating and dudes are getting worse. Times have changed, yes, but does that mean our expectations have to?

  1. Chivalry is all but dead. Some men have a reverse sense of what feminism is—let’s not care about women as equals but let’s make them do more since they want more. Not only most women have to worry about whether a date will work out, but we have to think about things like paying, opening our own door, or—and here’s the kicker—guys checking other women out when they’re on a date with us. If a guy is genuinely interested, he should be opening doors, pulling out our chairs, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, etc. That’s not anti-feminist, it’s politeness!
  2. There’s no knight in shining armor—just a guy who will call you an Uber after you Netflix and chill. Most women do want a knight in shining armor deep down—the romantic idea that someone will come along and everything in our lives will just make sense. That romantic idea that a man can love just one woman and stay faithful no matter what—that is the dream. But now, that notion is long gone. Innocent dates and getting to know each other don’t happen. The minute we go to a guy’s house, it’s not just making dinner or watching a movie. It’s Netflix and chill and then calling an Uber for us if/when a hookup happens. There’s no walking us to our car, offering us a ride home, or telling us how excited they are to see us again.
  3. Let’s face it—some men want all of the power. We aren’t living in the 1950s anymore. Women are finally accepted in the boardroom, but we’re still expected to have dinner on the table, tuck our kids in bed, and be sex kittens in the bedroom. And if we fall short in one area, some men will be quick to say, “See! They can’t have it all.” A lot of men want women to be confident but not too strong in our opinions, especially in relationships.
  4. Most men don’t want romance, they want options. We live in a society of endless options— Postmates, Uber Eats, iPhone, Android, Tinder, Happn. Having too much to choose from causes more indecision and flakiness. There are thousands of dating apps on the internet. THOUSANDS! Most men don’t want to meet someone at the grocery store anymore—they want to meet someone on social media who lives down the street while never leaving their couches. They’ll use social media to vet girls they don’t really have to get to know us. And if we don’t immediately give in, they bail. Options are giving men more of an opportunity to see how many girls they can have before even considering choosing one.
  5. A lot of guys are pitting women against each other. More options, more problems. Not only are their tons and tons of dating apps, but there are now more reasons to not commit. Because of this, women are becoming more competitive with each other. We start to compare ourselves and then become way more spiteful and vindictive with one another. It used to be easy—fall for a guy, tell him you like him and hope for the best. Now, we’re conditioned to look into his history because more than likely he’s dating more than just one woman.
  6. Guys as a whole are making women more insecure. Most women will dim our lights for a guy—sad but true. No one’s forcing us to do it but it almost comes naturally at this point. We can like a guy so much that we’ll do pretty much anything short of committing an actual crime to get him to commit. Why? Because if he likes us, we can stop dating, and that’s one less guy for the next girl to have. It sounds crazy but it’s true. We put so much stress on ourselves to get the guy, to be the girl he chooses, as if that’s the only thing that matters.
  7. Women would rather be single than take a chance with a guy. The person who said being single is a choice has never really been single. Yes, there are people who choose the single life and LOVE it. More power to ’em. However, there are others that are single out of self-preservation. It often feels like every date is the same, every guy is the same—out for themselves and unapologetic for being jerks. Some dating behaviors have long-term effects on others—ghosting, cheating, and stashing included. It’s hard to think the best in people when the minority (crappy guys) becomes the majority.
  8. Today’s man makes love hopeless not hopeful. We now live in a world where love is fleeting. Women have stopped looking for love because it’s harder to find. We have to lower our expectations or stop believing in love out of sheer terror because 90% of the time, a guy has screwed us over. It’s sad, really. Most women aren’t looking for the cookie-cutter revision of Prince Charming. We just want to be loved by a nice guy, with no red flags in sight.
Born and Raised in Las Vegas. Currently live in Lala Land (aka Hollywood). BA in English. I live at the beach any chance I get. Obsessions/loves include paddle boarding, laughing , Sunday brunches & relationship horror stories. Searching for answers one horror story at a time, while trying to find love and a little laughter.